Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

5:52 pm - Wednesday, Sept. 14, 2005
Emailing John O.

Emailing John O.

(This is one of those times where I spend all kinds of time on an email to someone, then realize it says pretty much everything I'd say in here anyway...Basically, for context: I emailed John O. after I got home from work last night, to see if he wanted to "do something" sometime over the next two days. He declined--He's very engrossed in a writing project right now, and doesn't want to lose momentum-- but wrote a very nice email, and this was my response.)

Well, this actually works out pretty well, you being too busy to "do something": Since it's my day off today, I thought maybe I'd see a movie, so I went to an ATM...and discovered I have NO money, in either my "savings" or my "checking" account (Not checking my accounts very often, because I've been afraid of what I'd find, I didn't realize that I have "overdraft protection". So once my checking account emptied out, my savings were next, all the while, me thinking everything was hunky-dory).

The "magical thinking" that allowed me to think I could feed and clothe myself, pay bills, eat the occasional fast food and/or go to a matinee, and do all these "workshops" I've been doing, all on 32 1/2 hours at the bookstore (And dribs and drabs of money from other sources)...well, reality really DOES "bite", if you don't watch out.

I'm not freaking out just yet (Or maybe I've just gone into shock...): I made it for nine or ten months before this happened (From the time David S. cut my hours), so if I cut down all the lavish excesses of the past year, I can probably "squeak by" until the next "drib" or "drab" of money from "another source" comes in.

(Rent is paid this month, and I should be fine with next month as well, so imminent homelessness is not an issue at this juncture.)

I'm happy to hear that the creative juices are flowing, and your writing energy seems to be in overdrive. For a time--and I didn't think it was my place to SAY this--I was worried you had disappeared into the gaping maw of that role-playing game you kids enjoy so much. I should have known better, though--You are UNSTOPPABLE, my friend.

I've heard successful writers describe that phenomenon--where the characters start telling YOU what they're going to do next, instead of you telling THEM--and the fact that the "inmates" have now taken over YOUR creative "asylum" seems to bode well for your career.

In regards to MY career...short of actually BOOKING something--which is still a distinct possibility--it's been about as good a period of time as I could hope for for commercial stuff: Last week, I had a callback for a TBS promo, which I was then put "on avail" for (Sadly, it didn't go my way). I also had an audition for a Natasha Bedingfield video, which I ALSO got an "avail" for (I THINK that one is still "in play", but I'm not sure).

Yesterday, I had an audition for Titleist golf balls, for a spot starring John Cleese (Also the star of the TBS promo I almost-but-didn't-quite-get). And today, I had an audition for a Eurythmics video (And no, I'm NOT writing this email to you from 1980--As the too-cool-for-school camera guy said "The Eurhythmics are back...with a VENGEANCE!").

The video audition today involved dancing, which as you know, I can actually DO. But to give you an idea of how hard it is being ME sometime, when I left, I started wondering "Did they even WANT someone who can really dance, or is the video going to be having fun with 'normal' people who CAN'T dance?" (I'm going to have to start ASKING at these things--"Do you want me to be a GOOD dancer or a BAD dancer...?").

The big news at the bookstore is that the cafe is gone, to be replaced in the next 3 or 4 weeks, with a Seattle's Best.

And John, I LOVE there not being a cafe! Of course, I "knew" most of the mess in the bookstore involved the "fucking hogs" (As I tenderly refer to them), who buy a cup of coffee--if they bother buying anything--then camp out at a table with 25 magazines and/or a stack of books taller than I am, destroying more in product than I make in a day. But I didn't really KNOW, if you know what I mean--I didn't realize what a virtual PARADISE the store would be without "the vermin" (Another "pet name" I have for them): The mess becomes manageable (And not overwhelming), you have time to help REAL customers, and I don't feel nearly as resentful while I'm at the store, since I'm not busting my ass for chump change (I'd still like to make another $5 or $10, simply because I could use the MONEY, but there's not nearly the same feeling of being actively ABUSED).

Sadly, this Shangi-la is only going to last another couple weeks, so I'm trying to enjoy it while the enjoying's good (Interestingly enough, when we closed the cafe at 9:00 p.m. the first day the construction crew came in, we still made sales for the day. And the next day, when there was NO cafe, we once AGAIN made sales; when I heard that, I suggested that "Maybe we should be re-thinking this whole 'cafe' business...").

Did I tell you already that I have a cat?

I have a cat.

His name is Kipper, and I got him about three weeks ago, from a notice off Craigslist. He's five or six years old, declawed, and after a few anxious days, he seemed to have acclimated to his new downturn in circumstances.

The only "issue" thus far is that he's peed a couple times in unsanctioned locations, but I think that's because I wasn't using the "clumping" litter he was used to (I've thrown out the things he peed UPON, gotten the litter that clumps--which is a pretty great invention, IMO--and hopefully, that will be that).

And since I'm now down to discussing cat urination, it seems apparent I'm done here...

Not to get too maudlin/mushy/sentimental/whatever, but I'm glad you want to keep the friendship fires burning (Did I really just WRITE that...?). I think very highly of you, and have hoped you might become my first friend that "sticks" out here, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I'll take that raincheck. Maybe you can come over sometime, and I can...give you a glass of water from the tap. Or I can come over to your place and we can walk around the block a couple times (Obviously, I'm a little VAGUE on what one does for fun without money...).

Take care. Drop me a line when you have time.



previous - next

1 comments so far
about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!