9:16 pm - Mon 5.26.2008
Wouldn't It Be Loverly?

For awhile now, each time I sit down to write, I have a hard time figuring out where to start. There�s no lack of things to write about these days, that�s for sure (It�s more an issue of having the energy to �get it all in� than anything).

Now that my next job - at Weight Watchers - is within sight (I just have to lose 11 more lbs), I feel pretty darned good about quitting ArcLight.

Because really, it was time.

Past time, actually; when the people you work for decide your life outside work doesn�t matter, when they make it clear they consider you disposable, and you end up having to work harder than ever to cover their collective asses (Because of policies you told them would cause problems), and this with a job that doesn�t pay a living wage or offer decent benefits in the first place...well, you�re kind of a loser if you don�t quit a job like that.

So I quit.

And now that a certain anxiety has abated - as in �Is quitting my job in this economy, when I haven�t had an audition in over a month-and-a-half, the best possible choice I could have made?� - I�m pretty certain I did the right thing.

There are things I�ll miss at ArcLight - some of my co-workers, the free movies, the free parking ramp (It�d be nice if they forgot to de-activate my parking card), a good night of usher-greeting, etc. - but what�s kind of shocking to me, after two-and-a-half years, is how very little I�m taking with me, how little I actually care about this place where I spent a good chunk of my time.

It makes me wonder - Did I ever really care about that place, or did they just beat it out of me over the years...?

At this point, I honestly don�t know.

We had lunch at the French Market (Where I�d lunched with Patrick M. the previous Thursday), talking for hours, about all manner of interesting things - The bookstore business, our weight issues, our respective job situations, our desire for meaning and creative fulfillment in what we do, the recent California Supreme Court ruling about gay marriage, politics, comics, etc.

It made me realize just how hungry I am for conversation. Not just the time-killing, soul-deadening chit-chat of a dead-end job like ArcLight - about how much a given manager sucks, about how much ArcLight sucks, etc. - but actual, honest-to-goodness, back-and-forth conversation.

One thing we talked about during the course of our wide-ranging talk was the new blog he�s doing (Which I�m not sure I can write about, so I won�t).

What really made me sit up and take notice is when he started talking about Google AdSense, and how I should look into starting a blog (On TypePad or Blogspot), a blog with a theme, something about acting, or losing weight perhaps (�There�s not much out there from a straight guy perspective�, he said), and see if I can�t drum up a �readership�.

And hopefully from said readership, some online ad revenue.

He�s had his blog for a month, I believe he said. He�s spent $14.95, and made $60 so far.

A $45 profit might not be much, but it�s a start. And, as he said, that�s $45 he didn�t have before, and for doing something he actually enjoys (Frankly, I�m impressed that he�s made any money, considering it�s only been a month).

Anyway, he�s really got me thinking; I haven�t been happy with my life of crappy jobs and all-too-infrequent auditions (And even less frequent gigs), so maybe it�s time to �shake things up a bit�, and at least drop the �crappy jobs� part of the equation.

What I�m thinking/hoping, is that the next period of my life will be about doing Weight Watchers, and making money from that, making whatever I make from acting, and perhaps making money from a blog or two (Or some other creative way to make money that hasn�t occurred to me yet). And having it all be stuff I want to do, stuff that means something to me, on my way to the big thing that "means something to me", which is being an actor.

Wouldn�t that be loverly?

I�m not sure exactly when I got there - around noon, maybe? - but I stayed until 7:00 p.m.

And what a pleasure it was to hang out as long as I wanted, and as long as they were enjoying my company, then go home, and not have to go to work afterwards.

Like with John O., it�s always a pleasure to get to talk to Cary.

We chatted at some length about my departure from ArcLight - and some parallels between the policies at ArcLight, and what he�s having to deal with at Oracle - about �the business� (He�s a screenwriter, and has been taking some pretty exciting, high-level meetings of late about a couple of projects he�s working on), about family and friends, about Donovans impressive skills (He�s three years old, folks, and he�s reading. I watched him do it), and a number of other things.

Again, much more interesting, far-ranging stuff than I�ve talked about at ArcLight for the past couple years, with people usually half my age.

This, in a nutshell, is the stuff I want my life to be more about.

Besides, I should email John O., to ask him more about how he set up his blog (And to see if I can get him to commit to lunch again, this week or next).

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