9:51 pm - Fri 2.08.2013
A Man And His "Fan"

This has been the second week in a row with no auditions.

I don't want to get bogged down in how I feel about this development - In a nutshell, I'm not thrilled about it - so I'm just going to move on...

I'd worried about the hour - I had a 4:00 am call in Long Beach - not so much because of the impact exhaustion would have on my "acting", but because I feared for my safety on the drive home afterward - but clearly, I got home okay and did not die horribly on the freeway, so "Yay!" (I didn't "crash", so to speak, until an hour or so after I got home. So I went to bed...and promptly woke up an hour later, and was up the rest of the day).

The most fun I had during the thing was chatting with Steph, the makeup person, about vampires and such, after she'd gotten me all zombie-fied and I was waiting for them to finish the shot before mine (We were of like mind that the Twilight vampires are lame - Who'd really want to spend eternity as a mopey teen-ager?).

Shooting the actual scene (Where a little girl dances around me in a circle, playfully, while I try to "catch" her) took, maybe, five minutes to shoot.

I have no idea if it amounted to anything or not. I hope so, for Cary's sake, but I don't know. It didn't feel like much of anything to me, but I'm not really the final judge.

Like the previous time shooting, I was sorely tempted by food while I was there, because I was tired and bored and "Hey! Free food!".

I had a banana - I'd already had a banana at home, but "Hey! Free food!" - and some veggies with hummus.

So far, so good. Or at least not so bad.

Then someone brought in doughnuts.

I ate half a chocolate-covered donut with nuts, then, with a Herculean effort, threw the remaining half in the trash.

Later, I popped a chocolate chip cookie in my mouth, then spit it out (I was alone at the time).

(Note: Doughnuts and cookies are not "forbidden foods" on Weight Watchers, because there are no "forbidden foods". But when you're averaging 18-20+ lbs over your goal weight, they also do not constitute "good food choices".)

So anyway, that was a thing that happened.

I'll be interested in seeing how it comes together; the idea is for it to be a "calling card" for Cary and his producing partner Jonathan (Who is also the Lead in the piece), so I hope it turns out well.

Got an interesting email earlier this week...

I have a "fan".

His name is Josh, and he's a 33-year-old actor who moved to LA a year ago.

He came across my journal when Googling for info on "commercial avails", and something in what he read apparently "spoke" to him - probably that I've been doing what he's setting out to do for twelve years now - and he went back to the very beginning and read the whole thing.

I perceive my journal as being primarily of interest to people who already know me "in real life", but I have, on a few occasions, heard from people, like Josh, who stumbled across it online, and have become regular readers.

I'm surprised by that, for whatever reason...but really, it's why I do this - As Wendy F. once said (Wendy started me on this path when I first discovered her online journal), "I feel less alone when I write in here, and I hope people feel less alone when they read it", or words to the effect.

I joked on Facebook that I worried he might be "a little nuts", because, after all, he'd read my entire journal (And some people took my joking comment at face value). But I was joking, expressing, I guess, my doubt/disbelief that someone could find what I have to say about myself and my day-to-day life that compelling.

Anyway, he invited me to lunch - he lives in Los Feliz, which feels more like my "neighborhood" than the neighborhood I actually live in - and we're going to meet up at the House of Pies on Monday.

I'm expecting to have an interesting time.

Thursday marked a month since I shot the 5th 3rd Bank commercial.

That seemed like a long enough time to wait for my paycheck, so I emailed JS, asking if he'd gotten it.

He had, and told me he'd get it out to me, and I'd have it in Saturday's mail.

And so it came to pass.

And I am a happy camper, 1) Because I'd been waiting for a long time to get it, and 2) Because it was for more than I'd anticipated (The shoot fee, plus some overtime, plus the wardrobe fitting the day before).

In addition to that money, I've been carrying a couple checks around in my wallet - My "Borderlands" check, and a couple small residual checks - so I'm feeling like I've got a little more "breathing room" now, while I wait for that big "Series Regular" role to come my way.

My weigh-in this past Tuesday was good - I was down 4 lbs and change from my last weigh-in, two weeks previous - but that night, I woke up throughout the night, and ate every WW bar and "mini" I had in the house.

That was...discouraging.

I don't really understand why what's happening is happening, but there's a part of me that says, "Don't think about it, Jim, just do what you know you need to do".

I say that because I've always been prone to lots of navel-gazing that never leads to tangible action.

I think it's enough that I see the current situation - being 20 lbs over goal - as a serious problem that needs to be addressed.

...but my time has come to an end. I have to get up early tomorrow (Not 4:00 am call-time early, but early enough), so I'm going to give myself a liberal dose of ZZZQuil, and hope for the best...

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