10:18 am - Mon 1.11.2010
But here I am - I have two commercials running, so it seems like I should be "off the hook" from worrying about bills...but the session fees from those commercials are long gone, I haven't started getting residuals yet (And I'm not sure when I will), my savings are kaput (I'm down to $29 in my savings account), and Weight Watchers alone doesn't cover the rent, let alone anything else.
So in the here-and-now, worrying about money still seems like the hip-and-happening thing to do.
I'm hoping I'll be able to "scrape by" for February (seems do-able, looking at my checking account), till more money comes in (from my taxes, from the repeat of my Mentalist episode on New Year's Eve, and from those lovely commercials).
And if I "scrape by" for February, and those "extra monies" don't come riding to my rescue quite as soon as I'd hoped? Well, none of my thoughts on that scenario are terribly happy ones, so I'm going to put said thoughts on the back-burner for now.
But, "looking on the bright side"? It's nice knowing that money - and probably pretty decent money, with the commercials - is coming.
That's a better position than I was in last year at this time, when the only ongoing revenue I had from commercials was the AT&T spot I'd shot at the beginning of 2008 (JS correctly predicted it wasn't going to generate big wads of cash - It has, however, paid out periodically for almost two years now, which has been nice).
This is kinda/sorta funny - When I started this entry with "I'm really tired of constantly stressing over money", my Inner Pessimist said, "Don't put that out there, Jim - You'll end up getting cancer or something...!")
Just took a little break from writing in here to draft an email to Tasha (The woman I went out on a date with a month or two ago).
When I didn't get a second date with her, I considered calling or writing to ask, in effect, what had gone wrong. But I dismissed the idea as being kind of pathetic and weird.
But in therapy on Saturday, Bette brought up that very idea, so I guess it isn't as "pathetic and weird" as I thought.
The idea's only partly about getting useful info for "the next time I go on a date" (And not at all about getting Tasha to go out with me again - that ship has sailed, and I'm okay with that).
Bette wants me thinking of dating more as another audition, and less as some do-or-die, make-or-break situation, so if it "doesn't work out", it's a little disappointing, maybe, but it's mostly just "on to the next one", instead of feeling so mortally wounded by the rejection I want to crawl into a hole.
So I sent the email.
And however Tasha responds - if she responds - almost doesn't matter; just sending the email accomplishes a great deal.
I'm certainly not in a position to date right now (See the first part of this entry), but in all likelihood, I will be within the next couple months. And when the time comes, I want to be just as ready to date emotionally as I am financially.
I've been following this situation with Jay Leno and The Tonite Show with great interest...
(If you've been living a a cave, or just don't care that much about entertainment news, Jay Leno's 10 pm show is being canceled, and he's probably going back to late night in some form or fashion.)
As an actor and an audience member, I hated Leno being given the 10 pm slot on NBC five nights a week; I've never been a fan of Leno-era "Tonite" (I'm more of a Letterman man), so there was no reason I wanted to see it basically transplanted to 10 pm.
And as an actor, five hours of Leno in prime time meant five fewer hours of scripted programming to audition for.
And the cut-rate, bargain basement thinking behind the move bugged me - NBC brass made no secret that they just wanted a cheap block of programming (The only reason they haven't succeeded is that the affiliates have screamed bloody murder because 10 pm Leno is a shitty lead-in for their local news programs at 11:00).
This is one of those things that "matters" to me, not just because of the practical issues - what I want to watch on tv, and the opportunities I want to have to be on tv - but because of "the way I want the world to work".
(And this is the point where I'd describe how I want Leno to retire, and Letterman to be the "King of Late Night" (For the next couple years, till Craig Ferguson takes over), and for network execs to foster quality tv - that audiences then actually watch - and then I want my own series. But I'm just too darned tired...so I'm going back to bed...)
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