1:20 p.m. - 10.18.2008
One Worry Left

Just as I began writing, the theme from the old Batman show started playing on my I-Tunes player.

Neal Hefti, the composer of said theme, died earlier this week (I hadn't known this, but Hefti also wrote the theme for The Odd Couple).

I mention all this because I was a little saddened by the news - When I was five or six years old, watching Batman was the highlight of my week. And in the years since, hearing that theme music has always brought back good memories.

(Aside from that, it's just a catchy little tune.)

Anyway...

As I said to my therapist on Wednesday, while things haven't really changed much materially, I'm feeling, by and large, less stressed about my circumstances than I have been.

I have some residual worries about the election (Vote tampering, the "Bradley Effect", etc.), but it looks like the right folks are going to win this time.

Likewise, I continue to worry about the economy, but have been able to convince myself that, one way or the other, I'll be able to "get by" (And on a good day, I can convince myself I may actually do okay, because of the historically recession-resistant nature of the entertainment business - Even in tough times, people still want to watch tv and go to movies, especially as other entertainment options become more "cost-prohibitive").

And booking the infomercial was a big boost; not financially, as I've said a number of times already, but emotionally - When you go through a period where you don't have a lot of auditions or book a lot of gigs, it's easy to start feeling scared, helpless, and hopeless, so the job reminded me that, when I get auditions, I can definitely compete (It also reminded me that, even during a recession, advertisers are going to want to keep selling stuff, so money-making opportunities will keep coming my way).

And, regarding the infomercial, it's just nice to consider that, while this was a "first", and a personal milestone (Working with someone I admire like John Cleese), it won't be the last time that happens.

On the Weight Watchers employment front, while I still don't have anything like a regular schedule, I do have my first regular meeting (Thursdays at 5:45 in West LA, starting this coming week).

I've also filled in for people twice, and have two more "fills" coming up (There's also a two-hour paid orientation for new receptionists on Wednesday).

Add all that together and I'm pretty sure it doesn't cover the monthly nut...but it doesn't hurt.

And things seem to be "going in the right direction" - I'm starting to get shifts, and I imagine that the more shifts I do, the more I'll get.

For whatever reason, I just have a little more "faith" that "things are going to work out" (It's something I have to constantly remind myself - "Jim, stop worrying. Things work out. If they didn't, you wouldn't still be here").

The one concern I haven't been able to rationalize away yet concerns my bowels.

Went to my Doctor on Thursday morning, thinking he was going to confirm my armchair diagnosis of a hernia.

But he poked and prodded, and didn't find anything.

When he got the details - in addition to hernia-like pain, I'm having some pretty major constipation - he opined that a "blockage" might be causing the pain, and prescribed citrate of magnesia.

I left feeling kind of dubious - I've been constipated before, and I don't recall it ever feeling like this - but in the days since (On Friday night, then again last night), I gave myself a dose of the old "citrate of magnesia", spending the next morning going back-and-forth to the bathroom, only to feel no difference when it was all over.

So I'm going to call the Doctor's office on Monday, and see what we do next.

(I wanted to be relieved it wasn't a hernia - nice to think one good b.m. was going to make me feel better - but now that it's not a hernia, and it doesn't seem to be simple constipation, I'm really worried - What the hell's going on here?)

Well, I didn't really want to end this entry talking about hernias and bowel movements, but here I am, worrying about my inability to take a decent poop...and hoping everything comes out all right in the end.

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