11:22 pm - Sat 7.09.2011
The Procedural

Hard to put my thoughts together, since I really haven't slept for the past 48 hours...

My surgery was scheduled for 10:45 yesterday. There was some confusion - in my mind, at least - as to exactly what was going to be done; I thought we were going to do everything that insurance would cover, but Dr A. seemed to want to save some of the throat stuff for another time (I don't know, maybe to lessen the possibility of any infection? Or maybe he just thinks I'm a pussy who wouldn't be able to handle that much pain - who knows?).

So anyway, we ended up doing more on my nose than I'd anticipated - removing scar tissue and such, in addition to opening things up on the right side - and less on my throat (Just one radio-frequency zap to the back of my tongue).

And we got off to a late start (Which happened back in November as well); by the time my friend Pat dropped me off at home afterward, it was around 3:00 pm.

So how am I doing?

I don't remember seeing the Dr afterward - Which is fine. I'll be seeing him on Monday to have the tube or stent or stuffing or whatever's up my nose removed - but my sense of things, based on how I've felt afterward, is that this went well.

I'd define how I've felt in the past 35 hours as "uncomfortable" (As opposed to being in out-and-out pain; I didn't break out the Vicodin until right before bed last night, and only then because I hoped they'd help me sleep - they didn't).

The two most annoying things are 1) The not having slept in two days thing I mentioned earlier (On Thursday, I guess it was nerves, and last night, it was because my nose and throat are fairly "compromised"), and 2) between the initial bleeding, then sneezing attacks and subsequent runny noses, I'm a mess, but can do little more than daintily dab at the affected area.

But my throat, which was a big issue last time around, feels better this time around; Clearly the Dr only burned what he meant to burn. That, or the anesthesiologist managed to get the tube down my throat without scraping anything along the way. I don't know - but while my throat hurts, which is to be expected (The back of my tongue was burned, after all), I'm not having quite as hard a time swallowing as last time.

And with my stuffed up nose and swollen tongue, my voice is not exactly "audition-ready" (It's particularly hard for me to say my last name - I'm sure a cunning linguist could tell you why that is exactly, but I don't know).

I don't want to book out and miss potential auditions if I don't need to...but by the same token, I don't want to have auditions where I go in and sound weird and/or less than my best.

Fading...

After Pat had dropped me off, and I was in the waiting room, I started feeling a little depressed.

Not sure why, or even if it bears theorizing about, but in any case, I did end up "turning it around" - Yes, I was in the waiting room by myself, and I was going to be going back home and recovering by myself, and it wasn't going to be fun, but I decided the real "take away" was that I was having the opportunity to deal with something that's been the bane of my existence.

And that opportunity came about because of my success as an actor (Successful enough to have health insurance, at any rate).

So anyway, here I am - dog tired, and looking like a mess, but hopeful that this moderate unpleasantness will lead to permanent gain.

(And there's loads more to say, about this and that and the other thing, but I really do feel my brain wanting to bring down the curtain here...)

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