11:04 PM - 12.18.15
(Once again, for reasons I don't understand, I just lost everything I'd been writing for the past half-hour or so. I'm not going to take it out on myself though, I'm just going to be momentarily really angry about it, and move on...)
Just got back from a walk, which I engaged in to hit my daily 10,000 steps (Till then, I hadn't had the most active day - a little walking to and from my WW meeting, a walk to the Post Office to mail some cards and buy stamps, and that was about it - so by mid-evening, I was only at about 6,500).
It was fine, but on the way back home, it struck me that to get in work, auditions (I assume auditions will be part of my life again at some point), watching my stories, and of course, doing this, in addition to all my various and sundry other activities, and add "fitness" to the equation, I'm going to have to manage my time a lot better (In other words, a lot less Facebook-ing and Scrabble-ing and the like).
Because I screwed around long enough tonight that I finally had to choose, walk or do this, cause I was out of time to do both - And now I'm doing this anyway, when I should been in bed an hour ago.
Sat 12/19/15 (6:55 pm)
Just finished watching Trumbo (Which I thought was very good, without quite hitting the heights I'd hoped for. But anyway...).
That I was able to watch Trumbo this afternoon is just one of the nice little things that've happened in the past number of days (When I received an email from SAG detailing the movies available to be screened, by download or dvd, this "awards season" - Trumbo is one of the first that's been made available, along with Brooklyn and Room, via download off I-Tunes).
Having nothing to do with "awards season", but everything to do with the holiday season, I was surprised recently when I got a FedEx package from John Wells - A Xmas present of a Fitbit and a Shameless water-bottle.
I have a Fitbit already, and I have water-bottles up the wazoo, but very much not-the-point. I was just happy to have the creator of the show thinking of me as enough a part of "the ensemble" to merit a little holiday gift/thank-you.
And while I don't think this qualifies as a "holiday party", on Thursday I attended a "Milk & Cookies Party" for "Pencil Pals" at Hooper Elementary School (Where attending SAG Foundation volunteers met the 5th Grade "Pencil Pal" they've been corresponding with). Nothing too involved, just a half-hour (That ended up being closer to an hour) with some story-reading, talking, and of course, milk-drinking and cookie-eating.
My guy, Freili - aka "Jerry" - seemed pretty shy at first (And initially, I wasn't quite sure of how to "engage" either).
But eventually we got to talking, and were having enough fun that his friend came over to join in, and ended up reading aloud the letter I'd brought for Jerry. Made me wonder a little if Jerry might have a reading problem. That, or maybe the friend just has a "showing off what a good reader I am" problem. But anyway...
The event had a funny, Weight-Watchers finish...
I was going to forego the cookies that had been served - just a couple Chips Ahoys and a few small "alphabet" cookies, but I was doing my weekly weigh-in the next day - and was walking out the door when Jerry said, "Jim! You forgot your cookies...!" (I turned, and, trying hard not to sound pained, said "Well...so I did...why thank you Jerry!". Then I took them, and when I was out of sight, threw them into the nearest open receptacle...which, unfortunately, was my mouth).
(And if you're curious - Cookie-eating notwithstanding, I still had a good weigh-in yesterday, losing 3 lbs-and-change.)
And this doesn't have to do with holidays or parties, though it always feels like a special occasion when it happens - In fairly quick succession this week, I received a commercial check (For the NEFCU and Exxon spots), a follow-up email that a check for Vodaphone was on the way, and a call from my agents saying they were sending out the check for my final Shameless episode of the season.
I was thinking about the satisfaction I feel when getting checks for acting (Or for performing acting-like activities), and it struck me that, at present, that's really the only satisfaction to be had, since the NEFCU commercial is airing only in a region of New York State, the Exxon and Vodaphone commercials haven't come out, and Shameless doesn't start airing for a couple weeks yet.
Kind of hoping next year that, not only will I book more work, but that I'll book more work that will actually get seen. But anyway...
I've quickly gone from feeling like Zumba class was going to kill me, to being bummed when it looked like I wasn't going to be be able to go on Wednesday.
That's pretty cool, but cooler still, when I did go on Wednesday, as I was in class, it struck me that I was feeling something I hadn't felt in...well, I genuinely don't know how long.
I felt "challenged".
I'm still not at the point where I can flawlessly execute all the moves/routines, but while I was having little moments of frustration, occasionally cursing under my breath, I was also having fun. And more to the point, instead of those moments of frustration making me want to quit, I was eager to get to the point where I will be able to "flawlessly execute all the moves".
I genuinely don't know the last time I experienced such a sensation. It's nice, so nice that I'd like to experience it some more.
So, while I'm experiencing my annual "holiday shit", in addition to near-daily bouts of existential angst ("Death" - and by "death", I mostly mean my death - has been much on my mind), there have also been these "bright notes", where I get to feel at least a little good about my career, my volunteering, and my ability to get past/work through frustration.
During a time of year when typically nothing feels good, that's not too shabby.
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