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1:58 am - Thurs 9/23/04
Scratching The Surface

Scratching The Surface

Tues 9/21/04 (12:47 p.m.)

John's tendered his resignation at the bookstore.

He's going to be out at the end of the month.

And the new GM starts tomorrow.

Tim G., one of the remaining two managers, is probably going to be gone as well in a couple months; when he was visiting his family in Houston, his elderly father, who suffers from a number of health problems and is probably not long for this world, wanted to discuss his "exit strategy" (Tim is the oldest son).

(I've tried to write this paragraph a couple times over, without success. In a nutshell-- hearing that Tim's father discussed his "exit strategy" with him made me think how no one's ever likely to need me to help with their "exit strategy". And it may seem odd that that makes me feel a little sorry for myself, but it does.)

But back to the store...

Other "long-termers" at the bookstore have shared this feeling with me, and I have it too�When there's a "wave" of people who leave, people you've worked with for a couple years and have come to like (And there have been other recent departures at the store in addition to Daniel and John O.), it gets you to thinking that you'd like to be leaving too. It seems that "change is in the wind", and you should be blowing out of the bookstore right behind the other people who are leaving.

Thurs 9/23/04 (1:12 a.m.)

Some "quick thoughts" written earlier, while I was at the Dennys on Wilshire, having a grilled chicken sandwich, fries, and a Diet Coke:

*There are a surprising number of things of interest to me in a sporting-goods store.

*Now that I own Day of the Dead (A rare dvd promo from the bookstore), I sort of feel compelled to own the other two "Dead" movies (Night of the Living Dead and Day of the Dead). This even thought "Night" is the only movie of the three I have any real affection for.

*I like the part of having an agent where they're the ones who call when it's been a month, and you still haven't gotten a check for a particular gig.

*Can't bring myself to rent another Audrey Tautou movie after having seen (and having loved) Amelie. I'm afraid it would "spoil things" somehow. Is that a little weird?

*The dumbest thing anyone's said to me recently: "It's not racist if it's a compliment..." (This was spoken by the security guard at the bookstore, who, as a result of this logic, is no longer the security guard at the bookstore.)

*Have had to remind myself recently�I can't give in to "impoverished thinking". Can't be so "poor" that I can't "get the job done" out here.

In resolving to eat better (Less eating in general, less eating junk food in particular) in order to lose weight, the biggest adjustment so far has been getting used to not feeling stuffed all the time. Not feeling "hungry", but not feeling "full" either (Is that what it means to be "sated"?).

*They're not the only kind of women I'm attracted to, but I'm often attracted to women�Jillian Barberie and Kelly Ripa, for example�who actively annoy a lot of people.

I thought recently that in order not to be overwhelmed by feeling of anger and frustration, it might be best if I stick my head in the sand regarding the upcoming election. I mean, I'm going to vote, of course, but all news about the campaign serves to do is piss me off about Bush and his gang (I've never seen a group so willing to say absolutely anything to get elected in all my life), while frustrating the hell out of me about Kerry (You've got millions of people who desperately want to vote for you, Schmuck! So make your fucking casealready, why doncha?).

Well, there's lots more to write about�I feel like I'm all about "scratching the surface" lately-- but I'm fading fast here...


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