2:17 pm - Sun 2/18/07
There ARE Small Parts...AND Small Actors

Fri 2/16/07 (12:21 p.m.)

While I could spend this entry obsessing over the Pala Casino callback, there�s really nothing new to say�If I don�t get a call today (and I haven�t yet) I�ll be about 99.9% certain it didn�t happen�and it pretty much falls under �What�s done is done�. I got a shot, I did my best, and it�s time to move on.

So I�m going to write about some other shit.

(Editor's note: As I post this, I didn't hear anything on Friday, which means, in all likelihood, I didn't get it. But the spots don't start shooting till the 26th at the earliest, and tomorrow's a holiday, so there's a small chance I could get a call on Tuesday. I'm not holding my breath though...)

Had a really good workshop last night.

It was for Lonnie Hamerman, who works in Gary Zuckerbrod�s office, casting Without A Trace.

I played that �child molester� character Jen C. recently said I�d be so good for; I was a convicted child molester, drawn into a �missing persons� case by another child molester (But compared to the other child molester in the episode, I�m a �good guy�, trying to start a new life and put my molesting days behind me).

I was very happy when I finished my workshop scene, and the casting person said �I don�t have any re-direction�, pointing out how well I�d handled a particular bit of �business� (At workshops, if you do a scene and the casting person feels there was more to get out of it than you showed them, they�ll have you redo it, after they give you notes . A.K.A. a �re-direct�).

While there�s a positive side to getting a re-direct (If you execute well, you show them you can listen and take direction), I�d much rather have them say--as a casting person did the week before--�I have no re-direct. I just enjoyed watching the scene�.

Not wanting to need a re-direct is partly about wanting to show off and be one of the �smart kids� in class�I want to �hit it out of the park� every time I go up there�but more than that, I feel it�s important, in career terms, that I show casting people I come in fully-loaded, that my �interesting look� is backed-up by interesting acting (Cause at my age, with my look, and with minimal credits, no one�s going to be looking to �make me a star�. I have to show them I�m a �star� already...or at least a really good actor).

After recently complaining about the scenes I sometimes get at workshops-where I feel I�m not given much of anything to work with�the last couple weeks have been really good�I�ve gotten some very juicy scenes (And not to break my arm patting myself on the back here, but I�ve nailed them too!). And that gives me hope�When I have a string of really good workshops, it gives me confidence that, at some point, someone�s going to bring me in for something good, I�m going to nail it, and I�ll really be up-and-running.

It�s a good week for ACG/PMG people�In addition to Brett on George Lopez, Jen C. And Tammy D. are on Las Vegas tonite (To me, the fact that two of our people got on the same episode of Las Vegas is pretty impressive. I mean, what are the odds?).

But now? They barely get the sentence out before I�ve disappeared in a puff of smoke).

I�ve worried I was �wasting� the money coming in from the �Bahamavention� commercial (The �Propel� commercial hasn�t started running yet; I haven�t even gotten the �session fee� at this point).

But then it hit me�One of my goals, in coming out to L.A. in the first place, was �to make a living� as an actor.

I�ve said it before, and I�ll say it again�I do not want to work for a living (That�s hard to admit, with some of the Puritans I know are reading this and passing judgement, but there it is. Sue me).

Working fewer hours at ArcLight is nothing to feel �guilty� about. On the contrary�It�s one of my life�s goals starting to be realized (Working fewer hours at ArcLight is, in my mind, a step on the way to working no hours at ArcLight).

Sat 2/17/07 (10:28 a.m.)

(What does it mean when you get a busy signal before you even finish dialing a phone number? That the entire �area code� is busy?)

In an email to Jane recently, I expressed, fairly succinctly, my �issue� with my appearance:

I just feel a "disconnect" sometimes, between my appearance and what I feel I have to offer as an actor (Or, for that matter, what I have to offer as a PERSON). I can readily acknowledge my "dark side", and feel I'm aware enough to make good use of it as an actor. But I don't want to spend my life playing "loser roles" just because that's the surface determination people make when they see me. Cause what about all "the OTHER stuff" (Which really, is the MAJORITY of what I'm about)? What about my kindness, my sense of humor, my playfulness, my intelligence, my love, my passion? One of the theoretical appeals of acting, for me, is that more "stuff can come out" than I get to express "in real life". If that's not the case, there's a part of me that thinks "Why BOTHER"?

I just feel like I'm way more than baldness, raccoon eyes, and crooked teeth.

I couldn�t have said it better myself :)

Of the two Jen C. had the better part; like her Close To Home episode recently, she had a scene where you could readily imagine her character�who apparently runs the gift shop at the casino--becoming a recurring role. And�also like Close To Home�there was actual interaction with one of the series regulars (In this case, Molly Simms). Her character has an actual "relationship" to the main character.

(Tammy�more of a �character person�, like Yours Truly�played a nurse/caretaker. She also interacted with a series regular-Vanessa Marcil (?)�but it was more of a �throwaway�; they knew each other--From previous visits to the facility in question--but beyond that, there wasn�t any �relationship� between the two characters�they weren�t friends or antagonists or anything like that.)

The idea that �there are no small parts, just small actors� is-in a word- bullshit.

There are small parts...and small actors.

But I will say this--Not all small parts are created equal.

(Editor's Note: At this point, I was going to babble on for paragraphs about, basically, what constitutes a "meaningful" small part. But I think this entry has gone on long enough, so if I think it really merits writing about in here, I'll save it for next time).

previous - next