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2:43 pm - Mon 8/25/03
Still Holding

Still Holding...

Mon 8/25/03 (12:05 pm)

Just got back from a coffeeshop on 6th street, where I got stung big-time for a bagel with cream cheese and a lemonade (Iordered lemon iced tea, but got lemonade. If I'd realized how much they were going to charge me, I would have been a little more insistent about them at least getting the order right!).

It was nine dollars, kids. I am not joking. Nine @#$!! dollars (If I hadn't already finished my bagel at that point, I would've choked on it!).

Obviously, that's my first and last time eating at that particular establishment...!

I went out to eat because I thought it might take my mind off waiting to hear about the Macy's commercial--Still no word as of yet (My pager went off right after I got back to the apartment, but it was just my pager paging itself, an odd little quirk it sometimes has).

Chris S. popped in at the bookstore last night, I guess just to say hi, and see if I wanted anything from Baja Fresh.

(He did a charity event awhile back–I think he played a game of dodgeball with some celebrities--and as a thank you, received a "VIP pass" to Baja Fresh for a year. Have to admit, I'm a little jealous; I did the "Reading by Nine" thing for two or three months, and all I got for my trouble was a tote bag!)

He's been doing some publicity for the movie (George of the Jungle II), and is going to be on the cover of some small, Aids-awareness magazine. He's also written an article for Muscle and Fitness magazine; I assumed it was in connection with his training for George of the Jungle, but he said he only "mentions" the movie in the article (I guess it's actually something about his being a "regular guy" who turned himself into the Adonis he is today. And I didn't mean to, but I kind of hooted at that–"You're not a ‘regular guy'", I said. "You've been working out since you were a kid! I'm a ‘regular guy'!"–but then I reined myself in and congratulated him for something that is, after all, pretty cool. I mean, where's my big magazine article about being a "regular guy"?).

He was excited to hear about my "hold" for Macy's, getting me even more excited/nervous than I already had been as a result. He said it would probably be a national, with no "buyout", and when I suggested that, if I got it, I'd need to bank all the money for when I had to join SAG, he suggested there'd be enough money to do that and then some.

Well, I hope I get it, and I hope he's right. But for some reason, my spirits are flagging a bit. Not sure why–Maybe because I expected to hear the good news by now. Or maybe because it's still hard for me to believe, at some level, that I'm really going to grab the brass ring out here–but I'm not feeling nearly as hopeful as I have been over the past couple days.

(Chris left, then came back from Baja Fresh with three big enchiladas. I left one at work to eat today, had one on the way home, and gave the third one to a homeless guy. That was kind of funny–He looked at the bag and said "Okay, but it's not sweets, is it? Cause I got cavities...".)

I think it's kind of interesting that, even though this has been "up in the air" since Wednesday, I didn't really start to obsess over the Macy's thing till Saturday evening, while I was at work. But maybe that's understandable; I'm really feeling like I'd like to put the bookstore/retail part of my life behind me, so it stands to reason I'd be fantasizing about another step towards the exit while I'm there.

The money this commercial would bring in would be nice (Since I seem to be ripping through money like it's going out of style, and the cuts in hours at Borders continue). Ditto with the experience, the exposure, the fun of getting to do it, etc and so on. It's very clear to me–Getting this would be a good thing.

But I think what has me the most jazzed is that this is how things are "supposed" to go; You get a gig, they like you, then they want to work with you again. And work leads to more work (Maybe because you radiate more confidence, maybe because people see you working and are more comfortable casting a "proven commodity". I don't know). I want this because I want to think this is the start of some genuine "career momentum".

I was hoping to know this morning, but now, I'm just hoping I'll get a call before the day is out. Wish me luck!


I'm not singing a happy song every second of the day or anything, but by and large, this has been a pretty good period of time for me.

At least till today, the Macy's thing has been a source of excitement and anticipation. And I have my vacation to look forward to (Whatever happens with the commercial, and however it does or doesn't impact the time I can spend back in Michigan, it's still time off from work, and that's a good thing all by itself!).

And then there's Mandy.

When she had her last day at the bookstore, a week ago Saturday, I was even more bummed than I thought I'd be (There really wasn't even much of a goodbye; She just strolled out at the end of the evening, saying "It doesn't really feel like I'm leaving". I wanted to yell, "It does to me!").

Just knowing she was going to be working on a given day meant that would be a good day. And now she was gone.

But in the time since, we've talked on the phone a few times, and it seems apparent we could actually become honest-to-goodness friends (It means a lot to me that she's called just to talk; It's been years since anyone's called me "Just to talk").

I was a little weirded out when she told me she had read Diaryland ("Did she read the stuff I wrote about her?", I wondered. Turned out she had), but when I thought about it, I haven't made any big secret of how I feel about her–Smart, pretty, funny, etc–and I can probably keep my dirty little fantasies to myself, so basically, no harm no foul. I'm just going to keep doing what I do in here, and let the chips fall where they may.

Actually, inspired by my efforts in here, <%%>Mandy has started her own online journal, which I think is pretty cool (As you might imagine, I've already bookmarked it).

Well, still feel like I'm playing "catch up" in here, but work beckons...


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