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10:15 AM - 10.10.19

When The Urge To Strike...Strikes
(Doing laundry, so this will probably not be done in one sitting - Don't know why I'm telling you that, but there it is...)

The big news today is that Jane R. is back in town, for a little more than a week (Her flight was delayed so she got in about an hour later than expected, but we don't have any big plans for today - other than having her come to Zumba with me tonight - so no big deal).

I took off today - a coworker who needs meetings asked if I happened to need a fill. And since Jane was coming, and I'm (temporarily) flush with Shameless money, I said yes - and I'm also taking off Thursday because I was invited to the table read for #11 that day at 5:00 p.m. when I'd typically be headed to WW (And again, I figured I'd give Jane a thrill by being more "available" than anticipated - With the table read, I'll be back home before the WW meeting is even starting).

But Jane didn't really need to see me this morning as she's getting settled in.

And since she didn't expect me to be available Thursday night she made other plans (Dinner with a friend at Bottega Louie, which we think of as "Our Place", since we typically go there at least once whenever she's in town).

So basically I'm just taking the week off from WW because I'm a lazy piece of shit (And also because I like attending the Shameless table reads when I'm invited).

The last two episodes of the show have had pretty minimal Jim/Kermit involvement, which means they were kind of/extremely boring, and there was only one day of shooting in each instance.

But happily, if I counted correctly (All I've done so far is scan through the script very quickly for my name, though I do always read the whole thing), I'm in four scenes for the next episode. And they all seem to be scenes where I actually do something and am not just a background player. Which is pleasing both on an artistic and financial front (They will almost certainly need me for more than one day on this one).

And that feels like about all there is for the "newsy" portion of this entry...

Had a good therapy session yesterday.

While I wouldn't exactly say punching myself in the face recently was a good thing, I have felt like it's lit a fire under my therapist to offer practical help with my self-harming issue - A good portion of the session yesterday was devoted to him showing me some basic acupressure/yoga things to relax and "self-soothe" when the urge to strike myself...strikes.

(In his defense, it's not like I couldn't have made more of a point to ask for help on this. I've been resistant to/fearful of making this the "centerpiece" of therapy, for reasons I don't have time to get into right now. But I do feel like he was a little "slow on the uptake" in terms of giving me some practical "tools" to work with.)


Thurs 10/10/19 (8:45 am)

Met up with Jane yesterday in the early afternoon, had lunch, and just hung out till Zumba.

She was a little nervous about Zumba, but when the time came, she did really well - got through the whole class (only stopping once, briefly, to get water) and from what I saw, did a great job of following along.

The two of us have a running joke around the phrase "I'm proud of you", but in this instance, I really was proud of her (We had dinner at the nearby Yellow House Cafe afterward, which was nice).

So today we're having a "work meeting" (She specifically wanted to not talk about the documentary yesterday) then in the evening we're going our separate ways - Her to dinner with her friend, and me to the table read for #11.

One more episode after #11 (That I may or may not be in) then it's all over for another year.

Can't say I've enjoyed every moment of doing the show this year (The last episode actually threw me into a little bit of a "state" for some reason) but by-and-large it's been good - I've been in a lot of episodes, and while the role is-what-it-is (Kermit's never going to have a lot of feelings about things or go through changes or have a plot-line), I've felt more a part of the show more of the time, which is a good thing.

In terms of the documentary, how/when shooting in my trailer is going to happen has not yet been firmed up - It's been kind of a torturous process making even this much happen (I first floated the idea to Michael H., the Producer, at the beginning of shooting. And now we're going into the penultimate episode having just gotten word we can do it).

I don't know the schedule yet, but my being in multiple scenes suggests at least two days of shooting, so I'm hoping one of those days will be next week before Jane is scheduled to head back to Sante Fe - She'll make adjustments if she has to, but it would be nicer for her (I.e. less expensive) if she didn't have to.

The wrap party is on the 26th.

After my usual wondering if I can somehow use the party to my dating advantage (It seems a more compelling/"sexier" offer than "dinner and a movie") and realizing there isn't even anyone on my radar, it makes sense to have Jane come along - If she makes any more connections, gets to meet Michael H. (Or his assistant, Shayna) or just reminds people of what we're doing (Like Macy, for example) that's a good thing for our cause.

(On top of which, she's fun to hang out with. And unlike Katie last year, or Mia the previous year, she's a plausible, age-appropriate "date", and doesn't look like someone I might have hired for the occasion.)

Then - and I hadn't really thought of this - that's kind of it for things happening in 2019 (Short of some surprises on the auditioning/booking front or what-have-you).

I hope I get some more auditions before the year's out - I've felt good about what's happened in the room during the last number of auditions and am eager for that "good feeling" to start translating into actual work (I don't want to have that "good feeling" curdle into "What's the point? If I suck I don't get it and if I do well...I still don't get it". Which, to be honest, is a thought that's "crossed my mind" now-and-again).

But for now, I have to get dressed for a meeting.

Till next time...


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