2:43 pm - Tues 3.04.2008
Surviving AT&T

Well, I made it through yesterday's re-shoot for AT&T...barely.

I was fortunate - I'd hoped for a short day, and it was a short day (Call was 7:00 a.m., and we wrapped shortly before 1:00); if it had gone on longer - the first day was 12 hours long - I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have made it.

(It was a pretty unhappy day for me physically, and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have gotten any happier had it gone on longer.)

After my "day of rest" on Sunday, I almost dared to hope I'd be okay yesterday. But no such luck; on the very first take, I took two steps, and received sharp messages, from my groin and upper thighs, suggesting that running was the absolute last thing my body wanted to do that day.

So anyway, I got what I'd asked for (when I found out there were going to be re-shoots): It was a short day, I was (I'm assuming) able to do what the director wanted, and I didn't get seriously hurt.

(I was "hurting" all day, mind you - As I told the AD at one point, "this is the worst I've felt doing something, but continued doing it" - but I was able to keep going, and didn't fall on the ground in agony at any point, like I feared. So clearly, while I was experiencing some strain - and a pretty high level of physical discomfort - I wasn't seriously hurt. And I'm still feeling some "discomfort" today, but nothing immobilizing.)

I kind of figured I wouldn't be the only one hurting after last week, and I wasn't. And that was a good thing (and not just in the "misery loves company" sense); we were able to communicate our discomfort - suggesting they should get us through this as quickly and efficiently as possible - without anyone being "the bad guy".

Other than my physical discomfort (Which is a fairly big "other"), it was a pretty nice day, really; the drive was more pleasant, Jeff C. brought his portable dvd player (I watched an episode of Frasier in the honey wagon, before they called us for makeup and wardrobe), it was a short day, and that short day ended with us all having lunch (They didn't want to have to pay us another "meal penalty" at that point).

I struggled with feeling depressed and defeated after the shoot yesterday; I was pretty disappointed with how my body performed during this experience - the spirit was willing, but the flesh (particularly the joints and tendons) was weak - and it left me thinking unhappy thoughts about physical decline.

But I did make it through. And that was what I wanted.

And now I'm going to get a nice paycheck (The first day in particular - with the meal penalties and overtime - is going to be especially nice), and hopefully enjoy some good residuals.

So even if this doesn't feel like a victory, somehow, it actually is.

(Jen C. and Patrick R. have both quit him, and apparently Tammy D. plans to this week, if she hasn't already.)

I think the issue for these people is that Brett hasn't really done much for them. They feel like he's not working hard enough to get them out, and not really helping them advance their careers.

And how do I feel?

Well, I have some concerns, as I've shared in here before; it's never really been made clear what he has to offer me as an actual "manager". At this point, he's never advised me on anything about my career, or made any suggestions, or offered any direction. He's basically functioned as a quasi-theatrical agent for me. And that being the case, I don't know why I'm paying him 15% (agents get 10%)...and I'm terrifically uncomfortable with the idea of paying him anything for commercials, because he's had nothing to do with my commercial success. That's a relationship I've developed with JS over the past five years or so that he's had absolutely no hand in, so why should he get a cut of that?

I don't know what to do, or if there's anything to do right now.

But a conversation might be in order. Just to see where we stand.

I think I'm going to see if I can get to the bank before it closes, to cash my paycheck.

At least it'll get me out of the house...

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