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10:59 PM - Tues 11.30.21

Probably Not Tomorrow...

(Don't know why I'm writing - There's not much going on and I don't know what I'm looking to communicate - but here I am.)

Still no car...I'm actually starting to wonder if he wrote my number down wrong or something, he being the mechanic (He recognized me - He's my mechanic - and asked if my number was still the same. And it is, which was confirmed out loud . So I'm probably reaching, but damn...).

And the inconvenience of not having a car has cropped up quicker than expected - I have a commercial audition tomorrow, at a place, at 10:00 am (Don't know why it didn't occur to me earlier to go to the mechanic and "borrow the car back" long enough to do the audition...but it didn't).

Still thinking about the news I got early this morning - My theatrical agent is no longer with the agency.

I know nothing about the circumstances - the email was pretty boilerplate companyspeak - but I'm assuming he got the boot (Otherwise, it feels like he would have said something, if he was looking to move on or what have you).

I never really trusted him - because he's always presented as an "Agent" straight out of Central Casting, which made me doubt his sincerity - but that doesn't mean I want to think he was actually shady or incompetent in some way, and that I've had a bad agent for the past however-many-years.

(Maybe it ultimately works out in my favor - Guess I might as well be hopeful about it - but right now, I'm being divvied up between three people until whoever-the-fuck gets hired. And the uncertainty of it all is making "Unhappy Jim" unhappier.)

At this point, I'm so fucked-up I'm even stressing over signing up for Hulu @ 99-cents a month for a year, which I did yesterday (I'm currently binge-watching Dave, a comedy about a neurotic Jewish 20-something who wants to be a rapper).

It's nothing now, but a year from now, I'm not going to want to give it up, so I've added another monthly bill.

And now instead of walking to Jane's for Hulu, and getting some exercise (She's got Hulu and Disney+, and until yesterday, I didn't have either), now all I have to do is reach for the remote.

And do I need another fucking distraction? Though really, what earth-shattering thing was I doing without Hulu to distract me?


Well, I could honestly go on (As I said in my most recent podcast, Jane's recent health scare hasn't caused me to go through my days panicky about her imminent demise - for whatever reason, I don't think this thing is "the thing that does her in" - but it has definitely pushed my already easily activated "fear of mortality" button. Jane probably won't die tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow...but she is going to die at some point, as will everyone I care about. And the only way around that is if I die first, which is not any more appealing an option, at least not at present), but I think you get the idea.

Till next time...



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