Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

10:02 am - Sun 11/7/04
\"Unlikely\" Does NOT Mean \"Impossible\"

"Unlikely" Does NOT Mean "Impossible"

Sat 11/6/04 (12:26 p.m.)

Can't seem to figure out how to get started here...

Oh, my "Things to be happy about":

1) Had another audition Thursday, for H&R Block (A union "network national"). I shuffled papers in time to music, which was sort of fun (Though I wish I'd had more time to figure out how to make a "routine" out of it). In keeping with my new attitude, I'm reminding myself that it's unlikely I'll book it–That's not being "negative". Realistically, it's unlikely that I'll book anything I go out for, no matter how well I audition--but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be nice to have a couple "nationals" running at the same time (And as I've already demonstrated out here, "unlikely" doesn't mean "impossible").

2) I had a great "weekend". I saw two movies (Team America and Sideways), got to hang out with John O. on Wednesday, and had the aforementioned H&R Block commercial on Thursday. It felt like a very "full", enjoyable weekend (Unfortunately, the H&R Block audition meant I couldn't go to Chinatown with Tim G. and the guys from work, but I'd rather my life be too "full" to get everything in than to have long stretches where nothing much is going on. And Chinatown's gonna be there for awhile).

Still thinking mostly about two things–the Jack-In-The-Box commercial and the election–but they seem to be bringing up a lot of other thoughts about the future. Both my own future and the future of the United States.

On a personal level, booking my first union gig has me feeling very positive. Realistically, this could totally be a "blip on the radar screen", the only union thing I book for the next couple years (There are no guarantees here). But somehow, I doubt that's going to be the case; I have a feeling that, while there will undoubtedly be some more "dips in the road", I'm looking at the beginning of an actual, honest-to-God career.

(Hanging out with John O. Wednesday, he said just about the coolest thing: When I said, somewhat in wonderment, that "I'm actually going to be successsful out here"--And why am I still so surprised by that?-- he replied, very matter-of-factly, "Oh yeah, you're going to be rich". He hasn't seen me act a lick, other than cutting up at the bookstore, but he says the most encouraging things, and in a tone assuming, with the right breaks, that it's just a given. In short, I like the way this man thinks.)

Beyond the practical aspects of booking a commercial that will pay good money, and the good feeling that comes from wanting something to happen that then actually happens (Again, why does that surprise me?), probably the most exciting thing about booking my first union spot is that I'm more open then ever to the "possibilities"–It makes me feel like good things are "out there" for me, and I just have to go get them.

Now that I can put "SAG eligible" on my resume, I'm thinking this would be a good time to do another agency mailing (To try and get a theatrical agent). Being SAG isn't exactly "the keys to the kingdom"–there are lots of SAG actors who are out-of-work, and most of them don't have agents–but there's also every possibility that an agent who passed on me as a non-union actor might consider me worth a look now.

Because the next logical goal, after starting to book union commercials, is to somehow, some way, start getting auditions for movies and tv shows. Getting commercial gigs is pretty friggin cool, and it makes me feel about a million times better than working at Borders does, but it's still not what I came out here for.

But I have to say, it's gratifying that I've put the time in–Over three-and-a-half years in L.A., and over two years with JS–and am starting to reap the rewards.

The best part of being out here so far? I've probably said it before, but every so often, I have a moment–Driving to an audition, being on a set somewhere, sometimes simply walking down the street on another perfect California day–where I think "This is exactly where I want to be".

The trick is going to be how to turn those moments into hours, hours into days, and days into a lifetime.
But right now, I feel like I'm up to the challenge.


Still find myself going back-and-forth on the election, from being depressed and disillusioned about it, to telling myself "it doesn't really matter" in terms of my own, day-to-day life.

I've been thinking about how I'm going to cope with these feelings I have; a feeling that "the forces of darkness" are now completely running the show, that my views are completely irrelevant, that it's going to be a long time before I see any of my beliefs reflected in government policy.

My typical response to these sorts of feelings would be to give up, to stick my head back in the sand, focus strictly on my personal life, and tell myself "It really doesn't matter anyway".

But can I do that this time out?

I guess we'll see...

Sun 11/7/04 (8:16 a.m.)

Watching This Week With George Stephenopaolus...

Almost turned it off when they started with Dr. James Dobson, leader of the Christian right. But in the spirit of "know thine enemy" I decided to listen to what he had to say.

And let's just say this--It was not encouraging.

(But let's not get me started on the Christian right...)

I forgot a "thing to be happy about" in my last entry–It was fun to once again be mentioned in the JS Represents newsletter on Friday (JS lists all the people who booked gigs for the week). It makes me realize just how much I want to be an "entity" out here; I want to be one of the "big guns" at JS, to have people get the newsletter on Friday and say "Man, Jim Hoffmaster is in here every week...!".

I saw from the newsletter that another actor got cast in a Law & Order episode. So once again, it strikes me that I should be submitting myself for tv shows, particularly now that I'm "SAG eligible". From what I've read, it's very unlikely that a tv casting director is going to bring you in, without an agent and without any "tape", because the "turn-around" for casting a tv show is too fast for them to take a chance on someone they don't know.

But that said, I did get called in for Strong Medicine last year, and got a callback to boot. So it's "unlikely", perhaps, but not "impossible".

Well, I'm feeling very "chatty" and would happily write more, but for your sakes, I'll give it a rest...


previous - next

0 comments so far
about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!