12:08 pm - Tues 1/13/04
Vague Memories and Silly Fantasies

I was just thinking about something...

When I was seven or eight years old, I was bitten by a dog.

The way I remember it, I was walking to school, minding my own business, and the dog--a German Shepard--just ran up, jumped on me, and bit me in the head.

For years afterwards, I was terrified of strange dogs. I would cross the street to avoid contact with even the most harmless-looking animal (This fear stayed with me till early adulthood).

As I got older, and would tell the story, I would exaggerate what happened for comic effect--"...and there I was, running down the street, screaming, with the dog still hanging on, swinging from my forehead..."--but what struck me just now, thinking about the story, was that I don't remember anything about the incident beyond "I was bitten by a dog"; I don't remember if I went on to school or ran home, I don't remember any medical attention, I don't remember if it was a dog I knew or not, etc.

In fact, I remember so little about the incident, I'm now left wondering if it actually happened at all.

On two seperate occasions recently, I've found myself thinking about "Ayds".

Years before Slimfast, and long before Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, there was a company that made dietetic candies called "AYDS".

My memory of what they actually were like is pretty vague--I remember they were chocolate-flavored, and I think they might have been chewy, like Tootsie Rolls--but they were basically low calorie sweets that would supposedly blunt your cravings for more fattening fare.

I don't know what prompted my thinking about this, but it might have been watching Angels In America. When I saw the movie, I found myself thinking about my own first memories of AIDS--reading about "Kaposi's Sarcoma" (sp?), and the spread of a "gay cancer" which eventually was given a name--Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.

AIDS.

In the time since, while I haven't lost any friends to AIDS, I've known a number of people who have died of the disease.

But back then, I didn't know any gay people. The worst thing I remember thinking early on was "Wow, that's a bad break for those diet candy people...".

Yesterday, while at work, I thought it would be funny to write an imaginary journal entry about having sex with Britney Spears--The disappointment (On both our parts), the awkwardness afterwards (What would we possibly have to say to each other?), etc and so on.

I bogged down when I couldn't figure out how we'd be in a position to meet in the first place.

I've been thinking about her a lot lately, every since watching her interview with Diane Sawyer on ABC some time back.

Listening to the interview, I was mostly struck by what a kid she was. Often, she sounded "22 going on 15", if you follow me.

I felt sympathetic towards her, I thought she seemed like a nice enough person, but suddenly, the idea of having sexual fantasies about her seemed pretty ridiculous.

I may fantasize about young hardbodies, but then when I hear them talk, I realize, in reality, I want a capital-W "Woman".

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