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9:15 am - Sat 8/30/03
Variation On A Dream

Variation On A Dream

Just woke up a short time ago...

Had an interesting variation on my usual "performance anxiety" dream:

I was in a large, community dressing room, with people walking around, getting dressed, getting made up, etc. (I think Chris S. might have been the lead in whatever show was being done; At one point, I remember he went off to rehearse something).

There wasn't the usual "What show am I in? What part am I playing? What are my lines?" anxiety. I remember that something seemed a bit "off", but I don't remember exactly what it was.

Then I woke up-in the dream-and while I was still in the big dressing room area, everyone else was gone.

Somehow, I had fallen asleep and missed the show (My perception was that it was the next day).

I walked around, at one point calling out to see if anyone was still there. I heard indistinct voices from some distance away, but no one responded to me.

I was naked, and at one point, when I walked by a mirror, I saw that my body was hairless and much more muscular than in real life (I remember the very odd visual of me with a "six pack"!). And I was covered in sweat, as if I'd just finished working out.

I didn't understand what had happened, but I remember being afraid people were going to be mad at me.

I got in the shower...and that's when I woke up.

This one doesn't seem too hard to figure out; The dream reflects my real-life fear that I'm "missing the show". I've "woken up", but it's too late-- the show's over, and I'm alone.

Dreams don't get much worse than that for me.

I think my appearance in the dream is interesting; My interpretation is that it signifies I'd gotten myself ready somehow, that I was prepared (I also think it's interesting that my "preparation" was all in terms of altering my appearance)

Interesting that my only reactions were to be confused and afraid; I wondered what had happened, and was afraid people were going to be mad, but I wasn't mad at my fellow castmates (Who hadn't gotten me up, after all), and in the dream, I don't recall being upset over apparently being superfluous (I didn't think about it till I woke up; Not only had no one gotten me up for the show, no one got me up to tell me they were mad at me for missing the show).


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