12:11 pm - Tue 12/11/01
Who, What, When, Where--and light on the \"Why?\"
I was thinking just a short time ago that I'm prone to asking "Why?" when what I REALLY need to be asking is "How?".

Not "Why are things the way they are?", but "How do I go about getting what I want?". How do I start making things DIFFERENT?

And I UNDERSTAND the urge to ask "Why?". If you feel some sense of injustice about how things have gone, if you feel like you could get things done "if only", it's a very natural urge to ask "Why?".

Why me, Lord? Why me?

But you know what the answer is to that question? The answer is, "Why NOT you?". You're not the first person to get sick, to get old, to lose your hair, to be lonely, to be troubled.

Why? Why NOT?

And once you've gotten your answer to "Why?", what have you got? Not much.

"Why?" doesn't REQUIRE much of anything from you.

But to start asking "How?" questions, you have to think, you have to struggle for answers, you have to have courage to deal with fear, with frustration. You have to DO something when the answers come. Or you have to admit to yourself that you don't WANT to do something when the answers come (At that point, THEN maybe it's time for a "Why?" question).

Over the past number of days, I've been trying to ask myself questions that aren't "Why?" questions, but "How?", or maybe "What?" questions--How am I going to get new wheels? What's the order of things I need to do to get my acting shit together out here?

I don't have to be a new person. I just have to SHIFT some things around a bit.

I am enough. I have enough. There is enough.

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