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10:19 am - Thurs 7.11.2013
Yes Please

Yes Please

Pretty funny...

Remember my last entry, when I wrote about getting something from my union's retirement and health benefits division, and being disappointed it wasn't a notice about qualifying for health insurance?

Well, I got that notice the very next day.

And I promptly skipped over being happy about getting exactly what I'd asked for, to anxiety about whether it was going to cost me more money, about the transition (From my current insurance), and about whether it was "the right move" in general.

("The right move" thing's mostly about the "volatility" of acting, and having to work enough to continue qualifying for insurance. That's an issue with WW as well - You're only eligible for insurance as a full-time employee, and it can be very difficult to work enough hours to qualify - but of the two, acting clearly wins the "volatility" sweepstakes.)

So I'm anxious when I'm not getting what I want...and I'm anxious when I do.

Welcome to my world.


(1:23 pm)

(The first part of this entry was actually written days ago - Diaryland now seems to automatically update the time-stamp if you let things just "sit". But anyway...)

Have had a few interesting things happen lately, that I feel like I should have written about by now...

Spent the evening Saturday with the woman I'm kinda/sorta "seeing" (meaning we clearly like each other, but are still in the "getting to know you" phase).

I was a little nervous - we didn't have a particular "thing" planned, beyond getting dinner at some point, which meant a lot of open-ended time together - but it was really fun; the evening was book-ended by walking her dog along the ocean, and in between, we ate at a little hole-in-the-wall ribs place in Santa Monica, played a little guitar together, and just hung-out at her apartment.

Regarding the guitar-playing - I was "a little nervous" about that too, because I don't see myself as being a "guitar player", per se, and was afraid I'd embarrass myself.

But again, it was fun; we're close enough in skill-level for it to be fun-and-not-frustrating to play together, we can both sing, and she liked that I can finger-pick a little, so while she was strumming the chords, I could play a little finger pattern that added something to the sound.

I enjoyed it, and hope we'll do it more going forward - She made a (joking?) comment at one point about "open mike nights", but with a little work, I don't think that's out-of-the-question.

(Public performing aside, it would just be fun, and a really good motivation for me to work on my playing when I'm at home. And that would be good personally and professionally - I can easily imagine an audition/role which might require playing a simple song on guitar, and it would be nice to be able to say, "Oh yeah, I can do that...".)

So it was a fun night, and really, it's been fun in general. I enjoy her company, and she seems to feel likewise.

The only real "hiccup" so far - in my mind anyway - has been this.

Meaning Diaryland.

There's been some "tension", I guess you'd say, over "privacy concerns".

At first, I thought it was just in terms of revealing some info about her business dealings that I shouldn't have (She has to sign "non-disclosure agreements" with her clients - like I have to sometimes at commercial auditions - so she was understandably concerned when I, unthinkingly, "named names" in here), but turns out, she really would just rather not be named in any social media - In here, or Facebook, or wherever - because, unlike Yours Truly, she "doesn't need people knowing my business".

At first, I thought that meant I wasn't supposed to write about her at all, which was very upsetting - "You mean, I have something really cool happening in my personal life for the first time in decades, and I can't tell people about it?" - but, after some discussion, it seems to have shaken down to "write what you like, but just don't mention me by name", and I can live with that.

(Clearly, this is a "work-in-progress" kind of thing...meaning, we're "feeling our way through" here.)

Anyway, long-story-short, I'm excited. And hopeful.

And it's been a really, really long time since I've felt "excited & hopeful" in this particular arena.


A couple weeks back, a regular at one of my WW meetings who's a writer, knowing I'm an actor, asked if I'd be interested in participating in a play-reading for him (Reading the first act of a play he's working on).

He emailed me the script, and I almost declined - This sort of thing comes up now-and-again, and my "default" is to say no, because the writing usually isn't very good, I'm rarely very excited about what they want me to do in the piece, etc., and this was no exception.

But I gave it some more thought; it's not like I'm overwhelmed with auditions (Or with doing anything as an actor), it was a minimal time commitment that wasn't going to cost me - in terms of lost work/auditions - and it could engender some "good karma".

And I'm bored.

So I said "yes".

There was a rehearsal on Sunday afternoon, which was fun, then we got together (At the Greenway Court Theatre, across from the Silent Movie Theater on Fairfax) on Monday and did two more readings, then had a break before the show at 7:00 pm.

The actual reading got a nice reception - though, to me, it was unfortunately not as good as we'd done it in rehearsal - then, after a little intermission, three of us hung around for the "talk back" (Not on stage, just watching in the back of the audience), then it was all over.

So it got me out of the house, I met some nice people, and I did something kinda/sorta like acting (And got a couple laughs during the actual reading, which was fun) short, I was glad I did it.

(The worst thing that happened was I left my backpack at the rehearsal space after Sunday's rehearsal, which led to some anxious driving back and forth and calling around, till I connected with someone in charge of the space, and was able to retrieve the backpack on Monday night.)

It was a good lesson for me to not just reflexively say "No" to things, because it seems like extra work or the thing isn't up to my "standards" or what-have-you; it wasn't some amazing experience, but it was fun, and it was something different, and it wouldn't have happened if I'd said "no".

But right now, I think I'm going to say "Yes" to an attempted nap...


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