|
|
9:27 am - FRI 5/17/02 I got your card and present in yesterday's mail. Thank you very muchly! (Thanks also for calling to say hi on my birthday. I appreciated that. I just wish I'd been here to get the call.) I got about halfway through my birthday day before things went to hell, so I'm trying to give myself some credit for battling the blues as long as I did before giving in (I KNEW it was not a good thing that I had the day off. I would have done better, I think, if I'd had to work, and just did a little "birthday something" before or after. But anyway...). Still feeling some residual "funk"--Okay, maybe MORE than "residual", but you get my drift--but as you said about YOUR recent "bad day", I'm working through it. Not a whole lot of news to report from here. I'd been a little concerned about the car, wondering if I would allow anxiety and frustration--over parking, renewed fear of the highway, expense, etc--to keep me from actually USING the car. But thus far, things are going just the way I'd envisioned; I ride my bike to work, and if and when I need the car for something (Grocery shopping or running some other errand), I take the car. I wasn't thrilled to discover, the first day I planned to drive the car for any length of time, a fairly substantial CRACK in the windshield. It's a little right-of-center, and if it went straight up (Instead of veering off to the left after a couple inches), it would go at least halfway up. Discouraging, and kind of mystifying as well--I hadn't noticed it BEFORE, and I'd barely driven it to that point, and know it didn't happen WHILE I was driving--but what are ya gonna DO? (On the "trying to be positive" side, at least I'm not in Michigan, where the change of temperatures would probably force me to have it fixed sooner rather than later.) Changes at the bookstore continue. They mostly involve moving shelves around and so forth, actual WORK work I haven't been involved in (Which me and my hernia are very grateful for!). There's always an anxiety over things changing--and a mild frustration with not knowing where things are again--but I'd have to say these changes are, by and large, pretty good (More and more, I really see how much our previous manager bit the big one, managerially-speaking). I'm feeling a little STUCK, acting-wise, by recently shaving my beard; It would be pretty "amateur-hour" to send headshots out that aren't current, and pretty much EVERYONE wants a headshot out here (Except some community theater things), so I'm waiting for the chance to get together with my friend Cary's wife Kay, who's a photographer, and she's going to take new pictures of me, gratis (I'll only have to pay for the reproductions). And then, if those pictures work out--And I hope they do--I'll have something to send out, WHICHEVER way my facial hair goes (I'm really feeling a powerful need to pick a "look" and STAY with it, something I've never had to consider before, and am actually kind of having a hard time with). If I'm serious about getting into the "extra work" thing, I've been thinking I need to get some more clothes. I have one suit here, for example--with no shirts that really go with it--so I need at least another suit or two, some dress shirts, maybe a blazer, and then, depending on how serious I want to get, maybe some "costume pieces"--a lab coat, surgical scrubs, etc. The only trouble is, these things COST, and as Jim has said probably one-too-many times, Borders is paying me SHIT. But what can you DO? How's the saying go, "You have to spend money to make money"? I should also probably be signed with more than one agency--Cenex is the biggest, but it's not the only game in town--but again, it's hard for me to figure out where all this "seed money" is coming from (I guess that's where "faith" comes in. I have to believe that if I throw enough stuff against the wall, SOMETHING will stick). I guess that's about it from here. Basically, I feel like I'm trying to close the Pandora's Box that opened on my birthday; Lots of ugly shit flew out, stuff that feels like it's always there, laying in wait for me. And while I'm not going to deny the TRUTH of the aforementioned ugly shit, I am going to tell myself that it's not the whole story. And it's only the MAIN story if I MAKE it the main story. I hope things are going well on your end as of this writing (How's the job situation currently? And the "Hubband" situation?). Wanted to let you know, though our communication is intermittent, I DO think of you a lot. And I appreciate your finding the time to write, cause I know you have a crazy-making schedule most of the time. Well, it's almost time to get my stuff together and forage for food. Take care. I'll look forward to hearing from you, when you have time. Love, Jim _________________________________________________ Well, I was going to write more, but suddenly I don't really feel like it...
0 comments so far 
|