9:30 am - 04.04.2009
A Warm Bath Of Good Thoughts

Once again, no time for a "real entry", but just wanted to lay something down...

My last entry bothered me, bothered me as in "Jim, you wanted money to come in, and you especially like money coming in from acting. But then you get it, and instead of being happy, all you can do is stress over how it's going to effect your food-stamp eligibility? Really?".

I kind of "get" that, in my world, there's always something I can feel stressed over, something I can worry about, a reason to feel bad - At this point, I don't know if I can not think that way.

But there should at least be a "counter-balance". Cause there really are "reasons to feel good" out there as well.

I luxuriate in worry and any form of negative thinking you can name, but sprint past anything positive.

If I can't stop myself from having worrisome, fearful thoughts, the least I can do is try to give equal time to the loyal opposition, and "luxuriate" in "the good stuff".

Like how, at any given time, it's possible for me to get a job that will end up paying me thousands of dollars for a day's work.

And how I know someone so kind, so generous, who has such regard for me, that she sends me a $2000 check, just because she knows I can use the help.

Those are things worth "staying with" a while.

Luxuriating in.

I'm going to at least give it a try.

And see how I like it.

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