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3:02 pm - Sat 1/26/02 I've been wrestling with second thoughts and the like--I know it was an impulsive thing to do, and I basically GAVE it away--but I have to read it as a good thing. The car had cost me over $1200 for "fixes" that didn't FIX anything, and as I've said before in here, I've basically "lost faith" in it. It was not FUN for me to drive anymore, to be sure, and more importantly, I didn't feel SAFE; How do you feel good about a car when you don't know if, at any second, you're going to lose just enough brake power to rear-end someone, or slide into a busy intersection? Basically, I'd went out early yesterday afternoon to run some errands--I was going to go pick up my paycheck, go to the bank, and take proofs to Barian (The photographer that did my headshots) to get copies of a "happier" headshot made--and the car wouldn't start (It did nothing at first, and all I was able to get out of it was a clicking noise). The last two times I'd tried to start the car, it had only started reluctantly, and while I have no way of knowing if this was something as simple as my needing a jump or not, I'd had ENOUGH. I was tired of worrying about the car, tired of being upset and angry and anxious, and most of all, tired of pouring money into it to no good purpose. I talked to Lauren afterwards, and she thought it was a good thing for me to do--A big source of stress and fear in my life is gone. And I think I was letting the fact that I still had a car, unsatisfying as that was turning out to be of late, keep me from focusing on either 1)How I'm going to get things done WITHOUT a car, at least for now, or, 2)How I'm going to get ANOTHER car. So I'm going to "throw it out there", to anyone reading this, to God, to "the Universe", you name it--Jimmy needs a really, really inexpensive, dependable car. But right now, Jimmy needs to take his dependable bike and ride off to work.... 0 comments so far 
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