10:28 am - Mon 2/11/02
Dancin'
In a recent interview in "Vibe" magazine, Michael Jackson said he liked hip-hop music, but not the dancing. He said something along the lines of "It just looks like gymnastics to me" (Or was it "aerobics"? One or the other. But anyway...).

I've seen a lot of dancing--in videos and such-- that struck me that way too.

There's a commercial out now, for a dance video by some "choreographer to the stars", a guy who's worked with Britney and N'Sync and the like. It's all about how "I can teach YOU to dance like THEY do". And in the commercial, there are numerous shots of young people...dancing like they're in an N'Sync video.

I think part of what Michael Jackson was saying with his comment about dancing that looks like "gymnastics" or "aerobics" or whatever it was he said, is that they're just "moves"; The choreography might be really tight, and you might be impressed with the synchronization or what-have-you (At the very least, with the aerobic fitness of the dancers), but you don't believe for a second that the dancing is "coming from somewhere", if you know what I mean.

I was thinking about "Grease" the other day...I really don't think it's a very good movie--Though I saw it at least a half-dozen times in the theater, and have probably seen it at least another half-dozen times on tv--but I always liked the big dance scene. I think the whole sequence is funny and fun, I like the music a lot, and for my money, when "Danny" and "Sandy" hit center stage, it's a GREAT movie moment (Though if I'M "Danny", and somebody pulls my girlfriend away during the big dance contest, I'm grabbing him, smacking him upside his fat head, and finishing the dance. But hey--that's ME).

Anyway, a couple years back, when the movie was on tv, I taped it, and watched the dance scene over and over again. I was trying to figure out why John Travolta looked so COOL, while Olivia Newton John, by comparison, looked like she was just along for the ride.

I can tell you a few differences between the two of them--As they hit the frame, John Travolta is moving his arms and hands in opposition, while Olivia Newton John is just shaking hers in unison. And John Travolta is leading with his hips, while you can't quite tell WHERE Olivia Newton John is coming from. Maybe that's because she's still "a good girl" at that point in the story--but I think the essential difference, in my mind, is that John Travolta's movement is EXPRESSING something. It's fun to watch him dance, in part, because he looks like he's having a great time. He may not be the greatest dancer ever, but he dances with definite PERSONALITY.

And I'd say that holds true of pretty much everyone I can think of that I've admired as a dancer, from Baryshnikov (sp?) to Fred Astaire to Michael Jackson; You see something of the PERSON when they dance, not just a body doing some series of movements. Otherwise, what's the POINT?

(Another thing about "Grease"; I don't know HOW many times I watched the movie before I noticed that while John and Olivia are dancing, the rest of the cast is in the background, dancing along with them.)

I dance a lot at the bookstore. If something comes on that I like, I'll "bust a move", partially to entertain myself, partially to show off, but mostly just because.

I'm thinking more about dancing these days, because of the "Stiffed" video I did awhile back, and also because of the recent Mac "I-Pod" commercial (The one where this middle-aged computer geek is rocking out to something he downloaded off his computer).

When I saw the I-Pod commercial, I thought, "I could DO that". The guy in the commercial can definitely MOVE, but I don't think any better than I can, and the "Stiffed" video had already put the idea in my head that "I should keep dancing, cause it might pay OFF at some point...".

But beyond some future "payoff", dancing is just FUN. And while I know breaking through as an actor out here is just a matter of time, I don't think I should EVER count on it as my ONLY source of "emotional expression" (I think I read that in a book somewhere...).

After a LONG break, I'm back to dancing around my apartment (I didn't really have room in my place back in Lansing, or in my first apartment here).

That's how I learned to dance in the first place; When I was a kid, Omar Pupo Jr., the oldest of the Pupo children, became interested in trying to dance like the people on "Soul Train" (The only problem? He didn't have any discernible TALENT) And his awkward efforts piqued my OWN interest, and I was off and running. Or DANCING.

I logged a lot of hours in my bedroom, dancing around like the people on "Soul Train" or "American Bandstand". I tried to imitate Micheal Jackson, and anyone else I saw who did something I liked (I remember liking the choreography for groups like the Temptations and the Spinners and the like).

It's interesting for me to think about...I didn't KNOW how to dance, and didn't know if I had any TALENT. Yet I put God knows how much time into it, and in time, I LEARNED how to dance. I DID have talent. I became good enough at it that I won a school talent show in high school, and got to live out--more than once--a fantasy of mine ( which was to clear a dance floor while everyone stopped to watch me. Just like a movie...).

My feelings about dancing have gotten more COMPLICATED over the years. While I know I have SOMETHING, I no longer think of myself, as I kinda did for awhile, as a "dancer". And I realized at some point, to my chagrin, that my being able to move as well as I did could also be a source of some DISCOMFORT (Guys making fun of me, women actually seeming a little unhappy that I danced better than they did).

And of course, the frequent pain of wanting to dance...and having no one to dance WITH (Sometimes I like dancing around by myself. But the occasional "slow dance" might be nice TOO, if you know what I'm saying!).

But whatever "complications", whatever mixed emotions have developed over the years, the fact that I move the way I do has been mostly a source of pleaure and pride.

And the "pride" part comes from the fact that I did it MYSELF. I followed that spark of an interest, and used whatever I could to make something of it. And you know what? I DID make something of it (I will now reach back in time, pat younger Jim on the back, and say "Good job, kid!").

I want to rekindle some of that "spark". Not just about dancing, but about LIFE. At some point, I was willing to try and learn something new, something I thought might be interesting or enjoyable, without any idea how it would pan out, but then things CHANGED somehow; I became too FRUSTRATED to learn how to do anything. I had to be perfect right off, I was frustrated that I didn't draw like DaVinci or play guitar like Jimi Hendrix (Or was it "Play guitar like DaVinci and draw like Jimi Hendrix"?). I couldn't seem to let myself just ENJOY learning something. Maybe I started being too "results-oriented", I don't know.

But I've spent a big chunk of my adult life, as a result, bored and unhappy. I haven't learned a fun new thing in years.

I think being out here is, in part, an expression of my desire to follow that "spark". To feel an interest and enthusiasm for something, and see what I can do with it, see where it leads me.

And maybe if I can move away a little bit from being quite so FRUSTRATED, quite so perfectionistic and "results-oriented", I'll actually end up where I want to be.

Or not. But it's gotta be worth a try.

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