2:57 pm - Thurs 2/8/07
Figuring It Out

I just read that Anna Nicole Smith has died.

Like most people commenting online, I wasn't a "fan"--physically, she wasn't quite my "type" (Though the first "Playboy" pics were not totally unappealing), I thought the reality show was crassly exploitive, and there didn't seem to be anything at all interesting about her--so I'm surprised at how saddened I am by the news.

There's the fact that she was so young (39); whenever someone in the public eye dies young, I feel an almost automatic bit of sadness at "a life cut short"

And there's the tragedy of a baby left without a mother (Or a father, at least at this point; last I heard, the baby's paternity was still in question).
Being basically an orphan myself, I feel for this little girl who's never going to know her mother.

But I think what I'm responding to, in terms of connecting Anna Nicole's sad life to my life, is the tragedy that she never got a chance to "figure things out".

I've spent much of my life hoping that someday I'd "figure things out", that there'd be a "happy ending" to the sometimes unhappy story of my life ("And Jim became a famous actor, everyone loved him, and he was happy almost all the time. The End").

And even if that isn't really how things work for most people, I still feel sorry that Anna Nicole Smith didn't get a chance to work through her stuff and come out on the other side.

There were three checks--a holding fee check, a small check for a couple of "Class A" usages(Network showings), and the largest check, which was for cable.

(Still haven't gotten the "Internet Usage" money yet. What's up with that...?)

I just had a really happy thought--Right now, my acting money is not "supplementing" my ArcLight income; my ArcLight money is supplementing my acting income.

And under the heading "trying to handle my money like an adult", I just got off the phone with Wells Fargo Investments, who handle my retirement account; it seemed sensible, since I have money coming in, to make a contribution to my IRA.

While on the phone with the Wells Fargo folks, I also changed my "Investment Objective" from "Conservative Income & Preservation of Capital" to "Medium Risk" (I don't remember what my new portfolio is called. The broker gave me two alternatives he thought would work for me, and I chose the one that wasn't the "Equity" one).

(I just developed a new financial goal for the year: To make enough money acting that I can contribute the maximum amount--$4000--to my IRA.)

Another way I want to "handle my money like an adult" is to work on paying my personal debts.

It wouldn't make sense to do what I want to do, which is to pay them off in a couple big chunks--Cause I don't want to be turning right around and saying "Ummm...can I have another loan? Cause my commercials have stopped running, and now I'm all poor again"--but it's important that, while I have some money, I make an effort.

There's so much more to write about, but I'm afraid I'm out of time...

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