1:01 pm - Sun 2/12/06
If I Show You Mine...?

Christy B. emailed me recently. It was just a short note, basically telling me she's still at the bookstore and what- not.

She "assumed" that I'd heard about Tim (Giving notice).

In response, I told her I had heard about Tim, and went on to say...

Typically, I'm way too busy thinking about MYSELF to worry about other people, but I like Tim, and really wanted him to find a job where he was at least a little LESS miserable than he had become at the bookstore.

And when I recently talked to him, he seemed okay--He's working loads of overtime, so he's on his feet a lot more than he's always happy about, but he seemed in good spirits, and since one of his biggest Borders "issues" was that he just didn't like David S., a David-free environment seems to really SUIT him.

I understand about your "not wanting to find another job"; I was at Borders as long as I was, in part, because I didn't want to find a new job either. I just never thought I'd find something that I liked any better, or that paid any better, so what would be the point?

But eventually, I had to go, because I was really not a happy camper, and felt myself becoming less of a happy camper over time (I think the verdict is out on whether I did myself any favors. Practically, the job at the ArcLight is worse in many ways--no insurance, no benefits, etc.--but most days, its an easier gig than Borders was, and even though I've only had to test this once so far, they seem to be cooler about my audition needs than David S.).

My biggest issue, right now, just like it was with Borders, is the crappy wage and not getting enough hours. That's a pretty effective one-two punch that makes life way harder than I think it ought to be (My feeling is that since I don't buy anything fun, never go anywhere--except occasionally to Jack-In-The-Box--don't have cable tv or dsl, ride my bike to work, and really don't do anything beyond go to work and auditions and casting workshops, one job should cover my bills. The fact that it doesn't actively pisses me off some days).

At the ArcLight, you get trained to do the basic things--concessions, ushering, box office--and then if you want to learn other areas of the operation (Usher Greeting, Retail, Guest Services, etc.), you fill out a "letter of interest", and they'll train you in that area.

So while I'd be fine doing "the basics" if I were getting enough hours, I've filled out "letters" for Usher Greeting and Retail, in the hope that if I can "fill more holes" in the schedule, I'll get more hours. It's my little way of telling myself that I'm not just crying about my sad situation, but trying to do what I can to FIX it.

(I don't want to have to get a second job, because...well, I just don't WANT to, for one thing. For the other, I don't want what I actually came out here to do--The acting thing--to retreat further and further into the background.)

I had a lot of commercial auditions this past week, and have one tomorrow (For Continental Airlines), so there's always hope that something will come from one of those (I had a callback for Washington Mutual, which would have been for a SERIES of commercials. That would have been really nice...but I didn't get it).

I'm also doing a lot of casting director workshops, where for a nominal fee ($25), a casting director does a little Q&A, and has us read scenes for them. That's how I got the thing on "House MD" this past year, so I'm hoping there will be more where that came from (I don't really have the money for the six workshops I did last month, or the five I'm doing this month. But this is kind of important stuff for me to be doing, so I just have to grin...and pull out the credit cards).

And that's pretty much my life in a nutshell...

So what IS going on with you? I have very little idea how you keep yourself entertained outside of work, especially since you're "Unsocial Girl".

I sometimes go out for coffee with John O.--a manager at the store before your time--but beyond that, and occasional outings with my friend Cary (Where I visit him and his family in Newhall, or else he and I meet up in North Hollywood), I'm pretty much "Unsocial Boy" myself. In March, I'll have lived in L.A. for five years now, and still haven't made much in the way of friends.

So if you want to be "unsocial" together sometime, just let me know.

In the meantime, I do hope you're in good spirits, and I'll look forward to hearing from you when you can find time in between...doing the mysterious things you do.

Jim

I know...if you're thinking what I'm thinking, you're thinking, "Wow...that was a whole lot of 'you' and not very much 'Christy', wasn't it?".

But in my defense, 1)I'm a stereotypical self-centered actor, and 2)She doesn't give you much to work with; four or five not-very-informative sentences make it hard to find an "opening", without just seeming like you're grilling her for info.

And "self-involvement" aside, maybe it's not always clear, but I feel like when I'm as self-revealing as I am in an email, I'm inviting you to respond in a similar fashion, should you so desire.

Some people take me up on that when they write me, and I really enjoy that.

Christy, as of yet, does not seem to be one of those people.

Even so, I like that Christy's writing, though again, I don't really understand why, since she seems to studiously avoid the fact that I'm interested in her.

I had told myself, prior to going to the callback, to calm down, that just because this was an especially exciting opportunity--Speedo aside--the odds of my getting it weren't any better than any other callback.

But how could I help but be excited and hopeful? How could I help not wonder about what life would be like if, at least for a time, I didn't have to worry about money, or work shitty jobs that hardly pay the bills?

So when I didn't get the call--Just a false alarm at one point (For another audition)--I crashed pretty hard.

But "Audition-O-Rama" continues, because I had another one on Friday (For Comcast), and I have one tomorrow as well (For Continental Airlines).

And I had two casting workshops on Saturday, which if nothing else, made me feel like I'm kinda/sorta an actor, and am doing what I can do to better my lot.

(Though the fact that I'm not actually acting, via acting classes or plays, is bothering me more than ever lately, especially as I get to the end of of Larry Moss's book on acting, The Intent To Live. Which is a really good book, by the way--If any "actor types" are reading this, you should rush out and buy a copy right now.)

Well, I could go on--I've got a lot of things I'd like to write about right now--but then I wouldn't be lying in bed watching tv (I have my first-ever box office shift tonite, and I feel very anxious and under-prepared, so I'm giving myself permission to have as lazy and relaxing a day as possible before then).

See ya around and about...

previous - next