5:35 PM - Thurs 4.06.23

(Well, this hasn't been the most productive day ever - though I did at least upload my tax stuff to TaxFyle, and "checked in" for a Doctor's appointment on Monday - so I'm hoping to rescue the day from total pointlessness with some journaling and drawing. Even if I have a bit of a headache and don't really feel like it. Anyway, wish me luck...!)

Still thinking about the trip...

Where did I leave off...?

After the family left on Saturday, I had a late lunch/early dinner with Jane and her friends, John and Olga, their boys, Miles and Felix, and Olga's mother (Whose name I can't recall), visiting from Uzbekistan.

They were a lot of fun - I could see why Jane felt so close to them.

When they left, Jane and I retired to our rooms, to rest up for the evening's festivities (A short awards show, then some celebrating).

I had to go to the theater a little earlier than Jane, because after the film, I started talking to a guy, who knew a guy, and he wanted to introduce us, so I guess we could "discuss the possibilities" of a pilot project they were working on (And we were supposed to do that before the awards show).

So I went down to the theater, and after waiting a while, I went into the theater and watched the last film of the night (Ended up meeting "The Guy" after the film and before the awards show started. He gave me a little of his background and told me about the project, which didn't sound like anything I fit into. So I was glad when Jane showed up, giving me the opportunity to bail on the conversation).

Then the awards show started.

Brett, the organizer of the event, had asked me earlier in the weekend if I'd "say a few words" before the awards ceremony. And in spite of my reservations - as in "What the fuck do I have to say about anything?" - I said I would.

"The Guy" went on before me, and basically gave the same spiel I'd heard earlier, just selling his project.

And I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but I felt a wave of competitiveness when he finished and I was introduced - I thought his thing was boring and self-centered, and I wanted to do better.

I'd thought about what I basically wanted to say, but hadn't thought of anything beyond that, so I was a little nervous.

But I think I ultimately did well - I told them a little about myself (And how many times I auditioned for Shameless Casting Director John Levey before my "Kermit" audition) and gave them a few things I thought were important for success in Hollywood (That pretty much boiled down to "Know your shit and don't be a dick").

Then the awarding of awards started.

And as advertised, it was a pretty brisk affair - If there was anyone there from the winning film, they accepted their award, took a picture or two with Brett, and sat down.

No speeches.

Jane won second-place for Directing - Which made her 5-for-5 in getting awarded for the film - and I got some nice pictures of her accepting her award (Getting a laugh when I ad-libbed, "And for best award-show photography, Jim Hoffmaster!").

We got some pictures afterward in front of the BSFF backdrop, had a complimentary cupcake and a couple cookies, then headed back to the Inn (There was supposed to be music and dancing. And while I would have been up for a little dancing around, it didn't seem like anything along those lines was happening, and it had been a pretty long day at that point, so I was okay with basically calling it a night).

On Sunday, we had kind of a lazy morning, then Jane spent the afternoon in town - amongst other things going to a "cat cafe" we'd come across earlier - while I hung out with my niece Brittany and her family.

At one point, I assumed the "hanging out" was going to involve Ashley and Lori and Tony as well as Brittany and her gang.

But I didn't realize that, since I last saw her, Ashley had moved from West Virginia to Ohio. And Lori had to work, while Tony just...didn't come, for whatever reason.

But it was fine - As I said before, Ashley had made a point of coming earlier on Saturday so we could hang out. And with Brittany, her husband Rick, her three kids (Chloe, Jaydin, and Jacob), her Mom (Billie Jean), and her Grandmother (Jettie), along with "Rocky", their very amorous mini-pit bull, there was enough "family stuff" happening to keep me occupied.

(I was relieved, after hoping I could persuade them to come back up on Sunday and hang out with me at the Inn, that Billie Jean, with her mom in tow, was able to pick me up and take me to Brittany's place. I've never rented a car before, and the idea makes me nervous. And the possibility of borrowing a family car from them, only to wrap it around a tree or hit a deer or end up in a ditch made me even more nervous.)

We hung out at their place for a while, then went to a nearby Italian restaurant they like, where they were pretty delighted when I was recognized by the staff (Like when I went back to Michigan a couple years ago to shoot part of the film, I was surprised to realize I'm a way bigger deal in West Virginia than I am in LA).

I'd been very nervous about hanging out with them before the fact, in part because I always get nervous about social things (And this particular social thing - hanging out with the family I've never had - seemed particularly momentous).

But after some initial uncertainty, it was a lot of fun.

And I knew I was 'in" with the younger kids when they started showing me their toys and collection of "Squishmallows", and wanting me to watch them do tricks on the trampoline (Chloe, a 17 year old going into her senior year in high school, seemed pretty shy, but when she came out of her room, shortly before we went out to eat, I got a chance to talk with her a bit and it seemed like we ended up liking each other).

After that, Billie Jean drove me back to Berkeley Springs - the drive to and from was very scenic, and triggered some long-forgotten memories - and I had dinner with Jane back at the Inn (Getting to hang out with Jane at these things is always fun, and this was no exception. Whether walking around town, having dinner accompanied by some fairly bad piano bar entertainment, or watching One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest in her room, I'm always happy we're getting to spend time together. Even the travel, not my favorite part of these things, by and large, felt pretty easy...though that said, I did find the flight from Detroit to LA the most taxing part of the entire experience).

And I could write more about the trip, but I think you get the idea.

It's funny - Since meeting family, one of my big worries has been "What if we don't really feel anything for each other?".

But this weekend, instead or worrying, I was marveling at something I've never really experienced before, something that seemed somewhere between a mystery and a magic trick - I was in love with this group of people I barely knew.

And they loved me back.

It was pretty cool.

Till next time...

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