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12:27 PM - Thurs 07.05.18

Not Approved By The Management

So what's been happening...?

Shot episode #905 on Monday (This was the one directed by Macy).

I had almost nothing to do.

Which made me think how I'm happy when I have something to do in an episode (A fun scene or a funny line, something like that), while when I'm not really doing anything, I try to make it a happy thing that I'm "getting away with something" (i.e. Getting paid to basically hang out on a set and eat free food. And it's particularly easy to say that on a Monday, which is one of my days off from Weight Watchers - "Sure, you'd rather be acting...but on the other hand, no one ever pays you to hang out at home, do they Jim?").

So this was more an "I'm getting away with something" episode...which was okay - Actually, by the time I wrapped, just before lunch (Call was at 6:30 am, and I was wrapped around 1:15-1:30), I realized I'd actually had a good time in spite of "having nothing to do", I think because, while I didn't have much to say, I still felt a part of the scenes in question.

One bummer going in was that I'd gotten calls for, not one, but two commercial auditions that day (That sort of conflict is the bane of a working actor's existence - You get long stretches where nothing is happening, then everyone wants you on the same day. Civilians will say "Nice problem to have...!", but when it's happening to you, and you're trying to earn a decent living, it's just a "problem").

So when I wrapped, I called JS (My commercial guy), to see if I could make either of the auditions (I remembered one being around Noon, so I figured that wasn't happening, but thought the other one might still be do-able).

JS was at lunch when I called, but he got back to me, and we worked out that I would be able to go to the second audition (Which was conveniently located maybe two miles from my place).

I got there around 3:00, and didn't have to wait very long before going in - And happily, the audition kind of "scratched my itch" to have a funny line to say (I was the guy who walks by and says something snarky to the "hero guy" in the spot).

So, as acting days go, you could do worse than having a gig and making an audition.

I thought that would probably be it for any acting stuff this week, because of the 4th, but I got a call on Tuesday for another commercial audition Monday morning, so I was happy about that (That's more notice than I typically get for a commercial audition, I presume because the casting office closed for the week as of yesterday)

I was initially not-thrilled about the early call for Shameless, but it ended up working out pretty well, since I was able to make the one audition, then go to my regular Monday night Zumba class in the evening.

That's my definition of "a pretty full day".

Tuesday I worked at Weight Watchers.

When I was done, I started walking to my Therapist's office for my weekly session, then remembered it wasn't happening - because of the 4th - and went on to my next task for the day, which was a visit to Men's Wearhouse to use a $50 coupon they'd sent me.

(Thinking about quitting therapy, by the way. But I'm gonna save writing about that for another day.)

Not sure what's happening with me and Men's Wearhouse - I went there when it felt like time to get an actual suit (Instead of putting on a pair of black Dickies and a suit jacket from Goodwill and telling myself I was "dressed up"), and spent more on clothes than I've ever spent in one sitting (Actually, I think I spent more on clothes that day than I've spent in any 5-10 year period of my life).

I remember distinctly telling myself, "Well, now I'm all set"...but then I realized I didn't have dress shoes to go with the blue suit.

Or a belt.

In fact, I didn't own a dress belt period.(I'm not sure I even knew there was such a thing as a "dress belt" for most of my adult life.)

And my black dress shoes are falling apart.

And I'm on their mailing list, which constantly plugs "bogos" and "half-off sales" and "clearance sales" and the like (So much so you start to cynically wonder if things are ever not "on sale").

And unlike Target or Old Navy or wherever, when you go in, they "customer service" you (And I'm embarrassed to admit just how much I like being "serviced". Particularly when it comes to clothes shopping, which I have always found difficult).

Long story short, I went in with my little $50 coupon...and ended-up spending around $475 -- I bought two pairs of dress shoes, two belts, and three sport coats.

For my day-to-day life, I don't need any of this shit - not being an actual "adult" means, in part, an existence that doesn't require suits or sport coats, or dress belts - but I find myself justifying this all as an "acting expense" that I do, in fact, require.

And that's definitely not bullshit (The more I go in looking the part - Whether "Teacher/Professor", "Manager", "Lawyer", "Businessman", etc - the better I feel, and the better my chances), but I don't think that's the whole picture.

I think I would genuinely like to look good, should the situation call for it (As things stand, I look kinda shabby pretty much all the time).

And I would like to be in more of those situations the require me to look good (Which, theoretically, could start happening when I book more things, in part because I'm walking into auditions looking like what I'm supposed to look like).

Now here's something only a character actor would have to consider - After this latest foray to the Men's Wearhouse, it struck me that I'd need to make some space in my closet for this new stuff. And I thought, "Well, I can get rid of all those old suit jackets from Goodwill...".

But then I realized I should hang onto at least a jacket or two, because sometimes what I'm "supposed to look like" at an audition is a shabbily-dressed loser.(I'm guessing, if you're a normal person reading this, you don't have to keep clothes in your wardrobe specifically because they make you look bad).


FRI 7/6/18 (1:30 am)

So how was my 4th-of-July, you wonder?

In spite of the fact that it was a money-losing proposition - I work two WW meetings on Wednesdays, and since I'm not full-time, I don't get the paid holiday - I was happy to have the day off, and hadn't planned to do anything (In part because it seemed a little surreal to be celebrating the country when I've never been more depressed about what's actually going on with the country).

But I let myself be cajoled into attending my friend Lynn's BBQ in the evening, which ended up being perfectly fine - I ate too much (One of the other reasons I didn't want to go), and at one point, Lynn was trying to get people excited about my being in Shameless when no one really gave a shit (Which was pretty funny, really).

But I enjoyed hanging mostly with the younger folks (And there was also a very cute baby there, the child of two of those "younger folks". And Scout, Lynn's female Boxer, who is very cute in her own right).

The dynamic was very similar to last year when I attended, which was actually nice - I don't have much in the way of "holiday traditions", so if this is what I do on the 4th for the forseeable future, I think that would be okay.

Went home before the fireworks really got started (They were starting to go off as I was driving home on the 10, which I thought was cool).

When I got home, I realized that there wasn't going to be much point in trying to watch TV or do anything that really required any focus, so I thought I'd keep trying to recreate the previous year's vibe, and go up on the roof (Last year, I ended the night on the roof of my building - which was not management-approved - with a number of young people who all happened to be artists of some stripe, and were impressed with me just for being a creative type who was actually working in my field).

But while I'd found the door to the roof propped open last year, this year it was not (I didn't actually try it, but I didn't want to set off the alarm that supposedly would go off if I did).

So I just ended up messing about on the computer until the noise subsided, then I went to bed (For the past couple days, I've been vaping right before settling down, hoping it would help me sleep better...but the jury's still out on this particular experiment).

Looks like the streak has ended for me on Shameless - I'm not in episode #906 - but as I've suggested previously, I knew that was coming, because I've never been in every episode of a season.

So while I feel a little disappointment (Other than the audition on Monday, I'm not expecting a big "acting week" coming up), it's not exactly a bolt-out-of-the-blue.

And we're still not half-way through the season yet, so there's still a good chance of getting more episodes (And maybe some more fun things to do) before it's all said and done.

And who knows? Maybe not shooting Shameless next week frees me up for the audition that leads to the booking that becomes the next exciting phase of my career.

(Hey, it could happen...!)

Till next time...


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