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9:20 a.m. - Tuesday 4/17/01 I was talking about the situation I'm walking into at the bookstore, and how it might or might not impact me. I was thinking, with the decreased staffing levels a couple of people mentioned, this new thing where I guess people have basically one job they do through the day, and my being a part-timer, that it's going to be hard to get to know people here, or for them to get to know me ( I spent the afternoon on Sunday shelving by myself, so when I left at 5:30, there were people working--who had come in at noon--that I hadn't even met. I should have introduced myself, but what can I say? I'm SHY ). Even John was complaining about staffing levels and acting a little demoralized, making "You can only do so much" kind of noises, so I can imagine the level of general morale ( I thought it was telling that of the three workers I talked to for any length of time--Jeanna, Charlie, and a third guy whose name I don't remember--two of them spoke unhappily of the work environment. Not exactly a scientific poll, but still...). As to how I'll deal with a situation where a lot of people I work with are unhappy...I don't know. Maybe that'll be the upside of not getting to know people; I won't be dragged down with them. But I think taking on the general emotional attitude of the staff IS something I have to guard against. I'd like my time at Borders to be as pleasant an experience as possible, for me and anyone who works with me. That's a goal. One thing I thought about while I was there Sunday, doing my day of shelving, was how I had delightedly told people "the place looks like someone dropped a BOMB on it" ( Sunday was actually the fourth time I'd been there, and it didn't look any better than the first time, over a month ago ). My logic, as far as it went, was something like, "I'm not the greatest worker in the world, but if THIS is what things typically look like, I'm going to be FINE!". All I'd been concerned about was that I didn't walk into some super-bookstore where I couldn't keep up. I don't think that's going to be an ISSUE ( In all the bookstores I've seen here--A Bookstar, A B&N, Two Borders, Book Soup, Skylight books, and Duttons--I haven't seen any as well-kept as the old place back in Michigan ). But anyway, if I had followed this train of thought to its conclusion I would have realized, "Jim, who's going to be trying to find BOOKS in the middle of this? And who's going to be asked to 'pitch in' with sections that look like they've been shelved at random?" ( That was a big issue for me on Sunday--I was assigned to shelve, it's my first day on the job, I want to do well, but the books were SO out of order--Particularly in the "animal" section--that I could have spent half the day just alphabetizing. But if I did that, I'd of looked like I was shelving at a snail's pace, so I redid the worst of it, then just "picked my battles" ). So I don't know. I'm kind of thinking that this really will be like my old job, only not as good. But in a way, I think that's ok; As Tom and Kevin have said, I didn't come out here to work at a bookstore. This is just a means to an end. I don't want it to SUCK, but if it's not the greatest place to be, maybe that's ok; All the more reason to get my acting shit together. Speaking of acting... I applied at Cenex yesterday, the extra agency formerly known as "Central Casting" ( So now I'm "an actor out of Central Casting", which I think is kind of cool ). I'd wondered if I would feel "dehumanized" by the process--I know they deal with lots of people and don't have time to be too touchy-feely--but while it was obvious by their little talk to us that they're used to dealing with flakey, childlike actor-types, they also seemed to have a sense of humor, and to try and make us feel as welcome as they could ( I've never been very good at this, but I'd guess there were maybe 75 0r 80 people applying, maybe more ). We did the paperwork, stood in line to show our valid Id's ( Most people seemed to have their social security cards, but I didn't; I showed them my birth certificate and Michigan license ), then had our picture taken. I was glad to finally get there and get it done, though once again, I'm signing on at not the best of times; With the writer's strike coming and the actors strike not far behind, in a few weeks there's not going to be much happening. But the way I'm seeing it is that I'm signed up, maybe I can get something in between now and then, and in any case, Cenex isn't going anywhere, and when the strikes are over, I'll STILL be signed up with them. I did a good thing. At first I felt a little bit uncomfortable and lonely in this crowd of people, but then I just started getting the urge to TALK to people, to "cut up" a bit; After we'd gotten talked to by the Cenex people, and were filling out our applications and taking our various measurements and waiting in line and whatnot, I just started walking around, bored, looking to engage people ( I went up to one woman, who looked a lot like Pam S. back in Lansing, and said, "Are you having fun? It's kind of like a big PARTY, isn't it?". I think she was somewhat amused ). I ended up talking to a couple of people in line with me, and that felt good. It made me feel like I'd not just gotten this TASK done, but snuck in a little human CONTACT while I was at it. And I don't want to make too big a point of it, because it's really not a very big deal, but I think that desire I have to ENGAGE others is something that's going to be key to my success as an actor out here. Well crap! I'm nowhere near done here--I haven't mentioned anything about Annie, or "Camelot" auditions tonite--but I told myself I'd in the shower by noon, and now it's quarter-after ( I took a break from this to chat with Kevin for awhile ). I want to do a "test run" to the audition site, so I'm sure I'll know how to get there tonite. Wish me luck...
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