9:35 pm - Fri 9.10.2010
The Reach-Around

(To my remaining fan - I'm really sorry it's been so long between entries.)

I have to say this up-front - I'm not in the best of spirits right now.

I had a commercial audition earlier today (for Trident) that was straight-to-callback.

It was a really fun commercial, that involved some actual acting, and they clearly liked me, working with me at some length during the audition (I went in with another guy, but it was all about Yours Truly in the room).

So far so good, right?

And I got a call from JS in the early afternoon; I was "on avail" for the part (As the "hero guy").

Long story short, I didn't book it.

At this stage of the game, I should know better than to get overly excited by an "avail"...but it's hard to help it sometimes.

And this is the second time in the past ten days I've rocked an audition, been very excited by the material, allowed myself to get excited and hopeful...and not been able to make the sale.

This other thing was an audition for a new Showtime show called Shameless, starring William H. Macy.

I auditioned for the role of "Vagrant" who basically asks WHM for a handjob (We're fellow Americans, cooling our heels in adjoining cells in a Canadian jail).

It would have been a great booking - with instant "pride of place" on my reel - and the vibe in the room was very positive...but again, no sale.

On this one, I'm consoling myself with the idea that I made a very good impression (And this was at John Levey Casting - the office that cast ER and Southland, amongst other things - and that's a great place to leave "a very good impression").

But "consolation prize" aside, there's "getting close"...then there's winning.

And I'd rather win.

...though honestly, even that sometimes fails to satisfy.

I did actually book something recently, a one-line, two-word part as "Creep" on Eagleheart, a new 15 minute show on the Cartoon Network starring Chris Elliot.

I shot it a week ago. And it went fine - how was I going to screw up two words? - but the good feeling, such as it was, was gone before I even got back home that day.

I was joking (sort of) about the "blow to my self-esteem" of having auditions for roles like "Creep" and "Vagrant", but, really, the "Creep" role bothered me more for what a nothing thing it was than for what it says about my "look" - Almost ten years down the road, and this is what I'm going in for?

This is the role I'm worthy of playing? "Help me...!"?

But a job's a job.

I just wish I were getting things that felt like an honest-to-God career was happening.

Well, I want to write about the big move, which is actually a much more interesting topic - to me anyway - than what I've been writing about.

But it's gotten late, and I'm tired, and as you might have noticed, a little cranky and depressed.

So I'm going to bed.

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