9:54 am - Thu 5/09/02
Jim Strikes Out
THU 5/09/02 12:32 am (Offline)

Called Jann K. yesterday afternoon.

It was pretty half-assed; I knew in the middle of the call I was sabotaging myself, asking her at 4 o'clock if she wanted to do something at 8. I might as well have come right out and said, "Please don't say yes...".

( I'd planned on going to a show at the Actors Gang theater on Santa Monica, not far from where I did Crossing The Line. Wednesday is "Pay What You Can Night", and I thought I could maybe swing $5 to see what they're doing. Then, obviously at the last minute, it occurred to me that I hadn't yet called Ms K., and I thought I could "kill two birds with one stone"; I could see a play, which would be a good thing, and get Jann's rejecting me out of the way.)

So I called the number on her card, and she answered (I was a little surprised by that. I'd assumed it was probably the number for her service. Another telltale sign that I wasn't sure I wanted this to happen; If it's short notice to call someone the afternoon you want to do something, it's even shorter notice if you expect to have to leave a message). I re-introduced myself, and stammered out how I knew it was short notice, but I was thinking about going to the Actors Gang later that evening and would she like to come?

Turned out she was hosting a comedy thing at a place called--What was it called?--"Da Big Smoke".. A cigar club on Melrose.

(A brief aside--I don't get cigars. Never have.)

So I was like, "Well, maybe I'll do that instead" (The fact that our conversation to that point had felt strained and awkward, as well as the fact she didn't pipe up and invite me to the show, or throw out some alternate time when she would be able to do something, told me it was likely I had indeed mis-read things during our bookstore encounter. But at that point, I was pretty much out on a limb).

She gave me directions to the place, and the conversation ended as awkwardly as it began, with

both of us saying "So...maybe I'll see you tonite...".

As I hung up the phone, I thought, "Well, that really didn't feel too good...".

( You may think I'm reading too much into the awkwardness of the conversation. But I'm really not. There was nothing in her tone or in what she said to indicate she was happy I was calling. And believe me, when I call a woman to ask her out, I'm listening hard for those little nuances!)

So I didn't know if she wanted me to come--I suspected not--and I didn't know if I wanted to go. I was really tired and out-of-sorts anyway--I'd had a pretty miserable night's sleep the previous night--and I didn't much want to do anything, truth-to-tell. But thought I needed to either do something for my career (Check out the Actors Gang show) or my social life (Go to "Da Big Smoke").

I just couldn't decide which.

My next point of debate was how to get wherever I was going.

The area of Santa Monica Blvd where the Actors Gang is located is kind of seedy, and I would have been nervous to leave my bike out there for hours while I watched a show. And I don't know if Melrose is any more or less safe, but I thought if there were some spark between Jann and I that I hadn't picked up on during our phone call, it probably wouldn't do to go outside after the show and ride away on my little bicycle.

Now of course I do have a car, but at this point, it's still an unregistered-and-uninsured car (The insurance papers came in that day's mail, btw). I also have a car with very little gas, and very little money for putting gas into the car. And of course, there's the ever-present, ever-annoying "parking issue"; Parking anywhere within shouting distance of my apartment would be extremely unlikely by the time I was ready to come back home (Think a good thought for me about getting a parking space, and getting enough extra income to be able to afford it, cause it's a really big "issue" for me).

So I ended up walking. I left my apartment between quarter-after and 6:30, still not really sure where I was going to end up.

But I decided on "Da Big Smoke". My logic, such as it was, was that no one was expecting me at the Actors Gang, and since I'm going to have other Wednesdays off in the future (Probably this coming week), it wasn't strictly necessary I see a show there that night. And besides, the comedy thing at "Da Big Smoke" was free, and I thought I could probably get away with nursing a Diet Coke or something, and spend less money than I would have at "Pay What You Can Night" at the theater ($5 was some kind of "mental minimum" for me, in terms of a "donation" at the theater. I would have been embarrassed to give them anything less). And however I was reading the "Jann situation"--It had become a "situation" by this point--it seemed like something I needed to let play out.

The long and the short of it? The evening pretty much solidified my feeling that there was nothing happening there, but I paid $2.50 for an evening of moderately-entertaining live entertainment--I bought a pop and a candy bar--so for that alone, it was worth it ( I thought, for a second, about buying a cigar, but when I spend money on something, I typically want to actually enjoy it).

It was an interesting environment. I'd been afraid that I'd be choking to death in a smoke-filled room, barely able to see the performers through the cigar haze, but it wasn't really that way at all; The "lounge" was a small room, barely bigger than my living room, long and narrow, but they had some fans going, a door was open to the outside, and only a handful of people were actually smoking. It was very small and casual, to the point where it seemed kind of silly that they had a sound system (There were a couple of floor lamps to either side of the performance area. During her routine, Jann tried to get some mileage from how lame it was, to be performing in a place lit by floor lamps, but again, in that environment, I think stage lighting would have looked...silly).

There were couches and easy chairs in kind of a semi-circle (More of a semi-ovoid really, what with the shape of the room), with some padded folding chairs behind them.

I got there a little bit before 8:00--the show was supposed to start then, though it actually started around 20 after--said hello to Jann, who was busy setting up for the show, and got comfy in a big brown leather easy chair (Other than saying hello to me initially, Jann didn't say anything to me. At one point, I approached her to see if she needed help setting up, and she introduced to me to one of the comedians on the bill--Pam Yeager, I think her name was--but that was pretty much it till the show was over).

As a whole, the show wasn't as good as I thought it would be. And Jann was easily the weakest link; She didn't seem very prepared (A number of the comics came up with notes, which I found bizarre; I think when you're getting up onstage in front of people, it's time to put the notes away). And the thing I think she did best--some comic character voices--came off as an aside, and even though the voices were funny, she still didn't really have them saying funny things.

(I have a confession to make; I definitely get hot about talent; If you're a talented woman, I'm probably going to be interested; If you're a talented, good-looking woman, I'm likely to fall in love.)

There were funny things said, and there was obviously some talent in evidence, but there was too much pausing for thought between jokes, too much looking over notes, too many extraneous, unfunny comments.

I found that last thing particularly interesting.

Stand up is all about being unhappy; If you get up onstage and say "Hi. My name is so-and-so, and I feel really good about my life. I'm in a loving relationship, I make more money than I need, and everything's pretty much going great"...well, there's nothing very "funny" about that.

But that said, if you're going to get up in front of people as a comic and say "I'm unhappy" or "This pisses me off" or something to that effect, there really needs to be a joke there somewhere, or else it's just pathetic and sad (I don't want to be asking myself, while listening to a standup, "Why do I care about your problems? I don't even know you").

At the end of the evening, I stood around briefly, wanting to at least say goodbye to Jann. She handed me a mailing list, and while I couldn't have cared less about what was coming up in her career, at "Da Big Smoke" or anywhere else, I signed up (With my last vestiges of optimism, I thought, "Well, if she wants to, she'll at least have a way to contact me...").

But at that point, I'd pretty much lost interest. It was pretty apparent she wasn't interested, I'd basically lost interest myself (After seeing her perform), and I just wanted to go home and watch my tape of Ed and The West Wing.

It was a long walk home.

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