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2:28 am - Thurs 8/4/05
Not Quite A Total Waste Of A Day

Not Quite A Total Waste Of A Day

Weds 8/3/05 (11:27 p.m.)

I smell urine.

Not a heavy, overpowering stench. Just a trace (A “whiff of wee-wee”, if you will).

I first noticed it earlier this evening.

I don’t have a cat or dog, and haven’t peed my pants since I was a child, so this is something of an olfactory mystery.

But anyway...

This was almost-but-not-quite a totally wasted day.

I didn’t have an audition today, and didn’t get called about one tomorrow, so there’s every chance I will be “audition-less” this week. Not good (I’ve figured it out–If I had two commercial auditions each week, I’d be satisfied. Less than that has the distinct feel of “not enough”, while more would, in all likelihood, “stress me out”).

The first time I left the apartment was around 4:00 p.m., to check my mail (Only junk), and I didn’t venture out-of-doors till almost 7:00; I was going to go to Jack In The Box, then realized I was only considering it because I was bored–I was actually so full at the moment I felt bloated-- so I went back inside and...well, I don’t really remember what I did.

Probably had a sandwich.

Masturbated a couple times (As I said in another journal, once a day is standard. More than that is a sure sign I’ve got too much time on my hands).

For the most part, it was a long, dull, lonesome day.

So what happened to make it not quite “a totally wasted day”?

1. I finished my debut entry in the “circle journal” (Something Carrie suggested we try, getting the ball rolling by decorating the book in question–she’s quite talented that way–and doing the first entry).

The “circle” is more of a triangle, really, consisting of Carrie, Carolyn, and Yours Truly. If you’re not familiar with the concept, you basically write an entry in the journal, then pass it on.

A fun idea, with a nice, decidedly old-fashioned feel to it, in this age of “instant communication” (I was the third person in this “triangular circle”, and as I began, I told C & C I was a bit “intimidated”, since they’d made their entries multi-media presentations. And truth to tell, I wasn’t knocked out by the quality of my writing in the first entry, but am hoping I’ll get better as I go along).

2. I read a good chunk of the new Chuck Klosterman book, Killing Yourself To Live (subtitled “85% Of A True Story”).

If you were to read this book (Or the book before it, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs), and anything by David Sedaris (Perhaps Naked or Me Talk Pretty One Day), you’d get a pretty good idea of how I wish I could write.

(I think about writing a lot. Basically, I’d like to be a lot better at it than I am, and suspect that I never will be “better at it” till I can shake a lot of my “hangups”.)

3. While I wasn’t exactly a “whirlwind of activity”, I did the most I’ve done yet regarding getting a job as a Signing Agent.

I applied online to a place yesterday (, but ended up having to fax everything to them again today, because their website is “screwed up” (And realized after I faxed everything, then called anxiously afterwards to make sure they’d gotten the fax, that I didn’t include any contact information. They have the fax number, obviously, but I’m going to communicate with them again tomorrow to give them my email and cell #. And now I suspect I’m looking way too scattered to be the “detail man” they’re looking for (For the record, all that info was on the website application I filled out).

I called another place (TheBottomLine), asking to speak to the contact person my friend Anita gave me, but was body-blocked by the receptionist–I spoke to her around noon, and after asking me my business, she said she would email me the necessary info (Of course, I never got it, and suspect that unless I call and ask for it again tomorrow, I never will).

And I applied online at a third place (Secure Signing Service).

At the first place, the application was pretty much fully online; at this last place, all I did was give them my name, address, phone #, and email (And in the box where I was supposed to list my “qualifications”, my Notary commission number and the expiration date of my Signing Agent certification). I’m presuming they’ll be contacting me for more info, though that might be presuming a bit much (Getting blown off on a regular basis by people out here is becoming something of a “sore spot”).

I was happy with myself for doing what I did–doing something, anyway–but can’t say I felt really good about how it all went: There simply wasn’t enough contact with actual humans (I never feel like I’m very well-served by a dry recitation of the facts, whether it’s about me as an actor or anything else).

So we’ll see what happens. For now, I’m going to content myself with harassing these three places (Since they have the “Anita Seal Of Approval”), then if they don’t pan out, going on from there.

So that was my day.

What else is going on in my world, you’re wondering?

Well, I might be getting a cat.

I was looking in the “free” section of Craigslist, and someone wanted to find a new owner for his five or six year old cat, “Kipper” (The current owner is going away to grad school or something–I forget what it was–and can’t have the cat. Or just doesn’t want to deal. Whatever).

I hadn’t really intended to respond to a pet ad, but the cat sounded like a good “lifestyle fit” (What won me over is when the owner basically described “Kipper” as being like a low-maintenance dog. Just right for a lazy guy looking for some “unconditional love”).

We emailed back and forth a few times, and I went over to the guy’s place on Sunday before work, for a little meet-and-greet with the cat.

“Kipper” is a big fella–18 lbs at his last weigh-in–who’s neutered, declawed, and as friendly as his owner had advertised (He was in my lap within five minutes after I got there).

So we’ll see...It’s basically between me and a woman with a couple of roommates (Who have cats of their own), and the owner said he’d let me know by the end of this week.

Between emailing the owner, and actually visiting his apartment, I almost decided not to go through with this. But then I decided, basically, to say “yes”. I’m a 44 year old single man, I’m lonely, and I want a pet. And to be more precise, I want this pet (If I don’t win the “kitty lottery” here, I don’t know if I’ll keep trying, or see it as a “cosmic sign” that the time is not yet right for another pet).

Speaking of pets, last week a guy in the building asked me if I wanted to walk his dog during the day.

For money.

This happened as a direct result of my day with Gremlin awhile back (The dog we thought had been abandoned by her owner); Mike, the dog’s owner, asked the apartment managers if they knew someone who would be interested, and I guess I was the first person who came to mind.

The dog I’ll be walking is a 12 or 13 year old miniature collie named “Lady”. Basically, I just have to get her outside, mid-afternoon, and walk her long enough for her to do her thing (As close to the time before I have to get ready for work as I can manage).

I didn’t know how much to charge the guy, so I stupidly asked what he thought was
“fair”, and probably sold myself really cheap (If I do this again, I won’t make that mistake). But at $30 a week, that’ll still be $120 a month I didn’t have before, for pretty minimal exertion.

I wish I’d asked for $50 a week, though...

Thanks to Carolyn and Jane, I recently received tapes of Rescue Me and Six Feet Under.

I tell myself to make these “video care packages” last, but I never do. I finished the latest ones both in two sittings, and that constituted restraint on my part.

At some point, I’m going to need to get cable. It’s a “want” thing as well, but seriously, at a recent workshop, one of the casting directors said we should all have “libraries” of one or two episodes of every show we could be called in for (It’s not enough to go in and do well, you see. You have to go in and do well...and match the “acting style” of the show. Or else you don’t get the job).

Speaking of acting, I’ve gotten exactly nowhere on the “breakdowns” front.

I called Chris, and he didn’t know anything. I called Bryan K., and he didn’t know anything either. And right before the workshop on Saturday, this actor named Yanni implied that he had a line on the “breakdowns”, got my email address...and I haven’t heard from him since.

So for now, I’m stymied.

I have five workshops this month, all casting directors, so we’ll see what happens. Maybe I’ll get lucky, and I’ll get in front of one of these people right as they’re about to cast something I’d be right for.

Cross your fingers...

Well, I feel like I could go on here, but it’s gotten late, I’m tired, and I’ve bored you long enough...


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