2:28 am - Thurs 8/4/05
Not Quite A Total Waste Of A Day

Weds 8/3/05 (11:27 p.m.)

I smell urine.

Not a heavy, overpowering stench. Just a trace (A �whiff of wee-wee�, if you will).

I first noticed it earlier this evening.

I don�t have a cat or dog, and haven�t peed my pants since I was a child, so this is something of an olfactory mystery.

But anyway...

This was almost-but-not-quite a totally wasted day.

I didn�t have an audition today, and didn�t get called about one tomorrow, so there�s every chance I will be �audition-less� this week. Not good (I�ve figured it out�If I had two commercial auditions each week, I�d be satisfied. Less than that has the distinct feel of �not enough�, while more would, in all likelihood, �stress me out�).

The first time I left the apartment was around 4:00 p.m., to check my mail (Only junk), and I didn�t venture out-of-doors till almost 7:00; I was going to go to Jack In The Box, then realized I was only considering it because I was bored�I was actually so full at the moment I felt bloated-- so I went back inside and...well, I don�t really remember what I did.

Probably had a sandwich.

Masturbated a couple times (As I said in another journal, once a day is standard. More than that is a sure sign I�ve got too much time on my hands).

For the most part, it was a long, dull, lonesome day.

So what happened to make it not quite �a totally wasted day�?

1. I finished my debut entry in the �circle journal� (Something Carrie suggested we try, getting the ball rolling by decorating the book in question�she�s quite talented that way�and doing the first entry).

The �circle� is more of a triangle, really, consisting of Carrie, Carolyn, and Yours Truly. If you�re not familiar with the concept, you basically write an entry in the journal, then pass it on.

A fun idea, with a nice, decidedly old-fashioned feel to it, in this age of �instant communication� (I was the third person in this �triangular circle�, and as I began, I told C & C I was a bit �intimidated�, since they�d made their entries multi-media presentations. And truth to tell, I wasn�t knocked out by the quality of my writing in the first entry, but am hoping I�ll get better as I go along).

2. I read a good chunk of the new Chuck Klosterman book, Killing Yourself To Live (subtitled �85% Of A True Story�).

If you were to read this book (Or the book before it, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs), and anything by David Sedaris (Perhaps Naked or Me Talk Pretty One Day), you�d get a pretty good idea of how I wish I could write.

(I think about writing a lot. Basically, I�d like to be a lot better at it than I am, and suspect that I never will be �better at it� till I can shake a lot of my �hangups�.)

3. While I wasn�t exactly a �whirlwind of activity�, I did the most I�ve done yet regarding getting a job as a Signing Agent.

I applied online to a place yesterday (SignMup.com), but ended up having to fax everything to them again today, because their website is �screwed up� (And realized after I faxed everything, then called anxiously afterwards to make sure they�d gotten the fax, that I didn�t include any contact information. They have the fax number, obviously, but I�m going to communicate with them again tomorrow to give them my email and cell #. And now I suspect I�m looking way too scattered to be the �detail man� they�re looking for (For the record, all that info was on the website application I filled out).

I called another place (TheBottomLine), asking to speak to the contact person my friend Anita gave me, but was body-blocked by the receptionist�I spoke to her around noon, and after asking me my business, she said she would email me the necessary info (Of course, I never got it, and suspect that unless I call and ask for it again tomorrow, I never will).

And I applied online at a third place (Secure Signing Service).

At the first place, the application was pretty much fully online; at this last place, all I did was give them my name, address, phone #, and email (And in the box where I was supposed to list my �qualifications�, my Notary commission number and the expiration date of my Signing Agent certification). I�m presuming they�ll be contacting me for more info, though that might be presuming a bit much (Getting blown off on a regular basis by people out here is becoming something of a �sore spot�).

I was happy with myself for doing what I did�doing something, anyway�but can�t say I felt really good about how it all went: There simply wasn�t enough contact with actual humans (I never feel like I�m very well-served by a dry recitation of the facts, whether it�s about me as an actor or anything else).

So we�ll see what happens. For now, I�m going to content myself with harassing these three places (Since they have the �Anita Seal Of Approval�), then if they don�t pan out, going on from there.

So that was my day.

What else is going on in my world, you�re wondering?

Well, I might be getting a cat.

I was looking in the �free� section of Craigslist, and someone wanted to find a new owner for his five or six year old cat, �Kipper� (The current owner is going away to grad school or something�I forget what it was�and can�t have the cat. Or just doesn�t want to deal. Whatever).

I hadn�t really intended to respond to a pet ad, but the cat sounded like a good �lifestyle fit� (What won me over is when the owner basically described �Kipper� as being like a low-maintenance dog. Just right for a lazy guy looking for some �unconditional love�).

We emailed back and forth a few times, and I went over to the guy�s place on Sunday before work, for a little meet-and-greet with the cat.

�Kipper� is a big fella�18 lbs at his last weigh-in�who�s neutered, declawed, and as friendly as his owner had advertised (He was in my lap within five minutes after I got there).

So we�ll see...It�s basically between me and a woman with a couple of roommates (Who have cats of their own), and the owner said he�d let me know by the end of this week.

Between emailing the owner, and actually visiting his apartment, I almost decided not to go through with this. But then I decided, basically, to say �yes�. I�m a 44 year old single man, I�m lonely, and I want a pet. And to be more precise, I want this pet (If I don�t win the �kitty lottery� here, I don�t know if I�ll keep trying, or see it as a �cosmic sign� that the time is not yet right for another pet).

Speaking of pets, last week a guy in the building asked me if I wanted to walk his dog during the day.

For money.

This happened as a direct result of my day with Gremlin awhile back (The dog we thought had been abandoned by her owner); Mike, the dog�s owner, asked the apartment managers if they knew someone who would be interested, and I guess I was the first person who came to mind.

The dog I�ll be walking is a 12 or 13 year old miniature collie named �Lady�. Basically, I just have to get her outside, mid-afternoon, and walk her long enough for her to do her thing (As close to the time before I have to get ready for work as I can manage).

I didn�t know how much to charge the guy, so I stupidly asked what he thought was
�fair�, and probably sold myself really cheap (If I do this again, I won�t make that mistake). But at $30 a week, that�ll still be $120 a month I didn�t have before, for pretty minimal exertion.

I wish I�d asked for $50 a week, though...

Thanks to Carolyn and Jane, I recently received tapes of Rescue Me and Six Feet Under.

I tell myself to make these �video care packages� last, but I never do. I finished the latest ones both in two sittings, and that constituted restraint on my part.

At some point, I�m going to need to get cable. It�s a �want� thing as well, but seriously, at a recent workshop, one of the casting directors said we should all have �libraries� of one or two episodes of every show we could be called in for (It�s not enough to go in and do well, you see. You have to go in and do well...and match the �acting style� of the show. Or else you don�t get the job).

Speaking of acting, I�ve gotten exactly nowhere on the �breakdowns� front.

I called Chris, and he didn�t know anything. I called Bryan K., and he didn�t know anything either. And right before the workshop on Saturday, this actor named Yanni implied that he had a line on the �breakdowns�, got my email address...and I haven�t heard from him since.

So for now, I�m stymied.

I have five workshops this month, all casting directors, so we�ll see what happens. Maybe I�ll get lucky, and I�ll get in front of one of these people right as they�re about to cast something I�d be right for.

Cross your fingers...

Well, I feel like I could go on here, but it�s gotten late, I�m tired, and I�ve bored you long enough...

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