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9:46 AM - Mon 3.22.21

What Now?

Well, Shameless wrapped a week-and-a-half ago.

I am now fully unemployed (For those not in the know - I was laid off from my day job at Weight Watchers back in May).

I haven't even gotten my final Shameless check yet and the anxiety has already started; not over money, really - at present, I may have more money in the bank than ever before - but over "What happens now?".

And while I do mean "What happens now?" in the broad sense of "Where does my life go from here? What does the future hold for one Jim Hoffmaster?", at the moment I'm mostly just thinking "What am I going to do with myself day-to-day?".

This question takes on particular urgency as Jane R. gets ready to head back to Sante Fe for a while (She leaves on Thursday, planning to return in May, before my birthday). Her being in town has "given shape" to my days, whether hanging out at her place, going on Target runs, or doing little dribs-and-drabs of things for the film.

In terms of regular social contact, she's been the only game in town for a while now.

And in a world with no Jane, no day job, and no Shameless, I'm a little concerned about my general health and well-being.

But I've been alone before.

And it's not like Jane is going to drop off the map - before she took up part-time residency here in LA, we texted and/or talked pretty much daily, which I don't expect will change.

And there's the weekly call with Mark and Jane Z., which has been a regular "thing" for a long time now.

And there's no law that says I can't try to rope someone into hanging out with me.

But by and large, I'm gonna need to create order out of my days, give myself some structure, some interesting things to do, keep myself clean and exercised, get myself outside, etc, without any outside motivation.

It will be interesting to see what happens.

(Till next time...)



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