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2:05 pm - Weds 9/13/06 To those of you who still check in regularly here, I apologize for the most recent lapse in entries... I was starting to feel I didn't have much to say beyond variations-on-a-theme of "I don't feel good". And even though I've told myself not to worry about "what people think" in here, I know a steady diet of my anxiety/depression wears on people, and I let that keep me away. And that was a mistake--If I'm "telling my story" in here, wrestling with my negative thoughts/scary feelings is part of that story. And if I don't address that, then I'm not telling the truth. And what's the point of writing in here, if I'm not telling you the truth? But anyway... In "Ask, And Ye Shall Receive" news, I'm now making an extra $25 a week walking a neighbor's dog (An elderly miniature collie named Lady). (This is the same guy who asked me if I wanted to do it last year--or was it just earlier this year?--then pulled the rug out from under me and gave the job to someone else. But now that guy's moving, so here we are.) Anyway, the timing seemed particularly "cosmic", because I'd just written Jane an email saying that what I really wanted was for my current situation to "somehow, some way, work out"; I didn't want to have to find another job, or a second job, or anything like that, and suddenly, an extra $100 a month falls in my lap. (Will that be enough to "make the difference"? I don't know...but it sure doesn't hurt.) In other happy news, I had a commercial audition yesterday, and I have a tv audition today. Actually, the commercial audition yesterday was supposed to be two commercial auditions (That's happened to me sometimes--two commercial auditions in a day--and it works out all right, if the two casting places are not that far apart, you have enough time to get from one to another, and you can maybe get to the first one early. Unfortunately, the first session ran very late, the second place was 25 minutes away, and...well, let's just say things didn't go the way I'd hoped). Today, later this afternoon, I'm going to my first tv audition obtained by Brett K. and PMG (For the part of a prison guard on Nip/Tuck). I know Brett's submitted me for a bunch of things, so it's good to see it starting to bear some fruit. Since I last wrote, I've tried a couple of food banks. I'm reminded of when I first moved to Lansing, and discovered I could make money selling my plasma; at first, I thought I'd have a steady side income squirting out a couple pints on a monthly basis, but I quickly realized this wasn't something I wanted to do unless I absolutely had to. It's like that with the food bank thing. I'll probably go back to the two places I went to (A church-sponsored place a couple blocks away, and a Jewish organization called Sova down on Beverly), because I really could use the help. But the idea I had of hitting as many places as necessary to eliminate my grocery bills entirely...well, now that I've had the actual experience of going to a food bank, that plan seems unworkable and vaguely unethical (If I had the time and energy necessary to go to a dozen different food banks, then I really should just get a second job). Well, now that I've started, I'm really feeling the urge to go on, but today's a busy day--I have to walk the dog, get some resumes printed with the PMG number on them, go to the Nip/Tuck audition, then to a casting workshop this evening (Brett's actually going to drive me to the audition, if you can believe it. We're going to meet up at ACG, and he's going to take me from there)--and I've gotta get to it.
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