11:02 am - Sun 11/19/06
(I've gotta stop all this thinking I've been doing lately--It's really been messing with my journal writing...)
Hey, if you haven't seen my "Gilmore Girls"/"Nip/Tuck" footage yet, and you want to, Ray Z. was kind enough to set up a little webpage for me (The link is at the beginning of my previous entry. It's also in the "comments" section of my "Super Tuesday" entry).
Career-wise, the theatrical dry spell continues. And at this point, with the holidays rapidly approaching and production about to shut down, I'm thinking it may be time to forget about '06 and start looking forward to what the new year might have to offer.
I do have a commercial audition on Monday, my third so far this month (Something for GE), so who knows? Maybe I'll get a little end-of-the-year, career "icing on the cake" after all...
On Monday, I have an appointment at Queenscare, mainly to refill my Prozac prescription.
So, mostly to avoid a verbal spanking by the Doctor, this past Thursday I dropped by the mental health clinic on Sunset.
I didn't "see" anyone--I just filled out the application to see someone--and even if/when I get approved, it's only for 20 weeks, which hardly seems enough time to untangle the web of psychological dysfunctions that's been my existence for the past 45 years.
But to be blunt, I'm lonely; if nothing else, I could use someone to talk to on a regular basis for the next four or five months.
I'm not as stressed-out as I was earlier in the year--Since I'm temporarily able to pay my bills with a minimum of stomach-churning anxiety--and it's undeniably exciting that I've done some bits on tv that have actually made it to air. But I wouldn't say I feel fulfilled, professionally or personally.
And right now, weird as it may sound, personal fulfillment seems like a much tougher nut to crack.
I recently received my session fee for the Bahamas gig (Which is part of that "paying bills with a minimum of stomach-churning anxiety" I was talking about a moment ago).
But the money tango with the Ad Agency/Production company just goes on...
I won't bore you with all the details--Mostly because I barely understand them myself--but basically, they did a behind-the-scenes thing on shooting the spot that they want to put on the Internet...and of course, they don't want to pay for it.
Who do these people think they are, the Salvation Army? Why am I expected to make a charitable contribution to them, when I'm the one struggling to pay my bills most months?
Anyway, there's been more back-and-forth between them and JS, and I gotta say, when JS called and told me what he wanted to do, it cracked me up.
They called him and said they wanted to use me in this behind-the-scenes thing, but didn't want to pay anything extra for it. And when JS said that didn't really work for us, they said, "Fine, we'll just cut him out", to which JS replied--since they weren't offering any money--"Fine. Cut him out". Then they called back five minutes later, saying, "Well, he's in a lot of the footage...".
So JS said he was going to call them back and, if he had my permission, quote them $5000 (Which he knew would make them lose their minds, but would communicate that we expect to get something if they're going to use me in this thing). And trusting JS's business acumen more than I do my own, I said fine.
I don't know how it's going to shake down, but the way I see it, if I get something, that's cool, and if I don't (If they scrap the idea, for example)...well, they didn't want to pay me anyway, so I didn't really lose anything (And in terms of "burning bridges", I have a feeling, to mix metaphors, that that ship has already sailed).
It's hard to wrap my mind around these two seperate spheres of my work life; on the one hand, I make $8.25 an hour at ArcLight, and on the other, my agent is quoting someone $5000 to show me at "my other job" for an afternoon.
It's just weird...
Recently, I checked my journal entries to see just how long ago it was I got Kipper, my "Craigslist" cat.
It seems like I've had him forever now, but it's really only been a year and three months, or thereabouts.
I don't write about him much, partly because he rarely does anything very newsworthy, and partly because I don't want to be a weirdo writing about his cat all the time.
But even if I'm not going to start knitting us matching outfits, or putting the two of us on Xmas cards, I like having him around.
Unfortunately, right now he's developed a skin issue that's going to mean his first visit to the vet since I've had him (He's starting to lick himself bald in spots, which is not a good look for him. And beyond the aesthetics, he's obviously not happy).
Hopefully, it will be something easily--and cheaply--addressed.
(You know, when I think about it, that's pretty much my wish whenever a problem crops up.)
But anyway...I could blather on, but then I wouldn't be napping...
2 comments so far